Hope Deferred

Hello?

2006-11-10T23:32:00.000-06:00

I've had a couple people ask me, "How come you haven't blogged since October 20th?" In case you forgot to note the previous post...this blog has moved! Hope Deferred is now at www.tammymelchien.com. So save the new site in your Bloglines and add it to your favorites. And stop calling me a slacker! :)

I'm Moving!

2006-10-20T22:53:00.000-05:00

Well, not me, but this blog. I finally figured out that I could import all the posts from this blog into my Typepad account. I've been keeping a Multi-Site Kids blog on Typepad since January and like the features and options on that site. So...I'm moving.

Now the only bad part is the address for my new blog is a bit of a confusing mess, so I set up this link so that you can find it easily...that is, if you know how to spell my name. Just remember...put the 'i' before the 'e'.

Check out the new blog at www.tammymelchien.com and let me know what you think!

New Series Video

2006-10-19T20:34:00.000-05:00

Since I love sharing our CCC Videos with you non-CCC types, I thought I'd share this one. It is the first in a series of four that will be shown during our current series, "Christian No More." In this series we're being challenged to stop being Christians (or to never become one). Well, stop being what "Christian" has unfortunately come to mean. Instead, be a Christ-follower...one who is whole-heartedly dedicated to following Jesus. Enjoy the video (especially you Mac users)!

In "Things I Can't Do"

2006-10-17T20:30:00.000-05:00

Now I realize no one can be good at everything. Some people are good at sports, others have no coordination. Some people are good at math, others can't multiply two numbers. Some people can sing, others think they can sing. I don't expect to be good at everything, but this deficiency is driving me nuts.

I have to face it every time I enter the produce department of the local Meijer where I shop. I was there again tonight and had the same problem. And it's not limited to Meijer. It's gotten me at Jewel and Dominick's too.

I can't get those stupid plastic bags in the fruit and vegetable section open. Does anyone else have this problem? There I am, standing in front of the zucchini, rubbing the edges of the plastic together in vain. This ordeal lasts so long that I always wonder if some guy watching on some security camera in a back room is laughing at me.

Other women walk right up, tear a bag off the roll, and instantly begin filling it with apples or green beans. Then there's me. Trying to delicately grip two distinct sides. Is this a skill you only acquire when you are married or have children?

A couple weeks ago I gave up. I'd been standing there trying with all my might when another woman came up next to me and began filling bags with vegetables. I cracked. When she opened her third bag, I asked for it. Yes, I asked her to give it to me in exchange for my defective one. She kindly obliged and as I began filling it she quickly opened the bag I had handed her and continued on with her shopping.

I guess there are just some things I'll never be able to do.

Promised Land

2006-10-16T18:43:00.000-05:00

My life changed 5 years ago on this date. Last night I was thinking about the transition I went through 5 years ago and wanted to remember some of the faith-stretching steps that led me to CCC so I grabbed a few old journals off the shelf and began looking back.

5 years ago to this day (Oct 16), my dear friend Monica spoke the words that released me. When she spoke, I knew that God was opening a door to something beyond. I went through the next 6 months wondering where God was leading. I didn't have a clue. But it is fun to read some of the thoughts that were going through my mind as I struggled to be Spirit-led. Thoughts like:

October 20, 2001 "I want You to make me into something I'm not. Although I know Your Spirit is active and accomplishing things through me, I feel like I'm serving within the limits of my abilities. I just want more. I want to be willing to step into things that are bigger than me. Things that only you could do. Things that aren't safe and controlled. I want to give you the opportunity to make me into what I'm not for your glory."

Hmmm... Children's Director? I think God answered this one.

November 11, 2001 "I think I might like to do something different than campus ministry. I think about the possibility of working in a growing church. And the more I think about it, the more I think about Chicago. I really think I'd like to go live in the Chicago area for a while...with museums and parks and lots of new things to discover."

Enough said.

November 25, 2001 "It really does feel like you are calling me to step out in a new way--to a new future. There is 'venturing forth' in this. Beth Moore's admonition to 'go put my foot on my personal Promised Land' continues to echo in my soul. The minute Monica said, "Do you think it is time you considered leaving Charleston?" I felt like an unknown but real future opened up before me--something beyond this place. I'd never seen beyond this before. I'd never considered that I was made for something beyond--that my Promised Land was still out there."

It took 5 more months until the future became clear and I had plans to move to Naperville to join the staff of CCC. My faith never felt so alive as it did during those months of uncertainty. It didn't feel like I was going after anything...just that I was trying to feel my way through the dark. I only sent out 2 resumes. One to Willow Creek because it was the only church I knew in the Chicago area at the time. The other to a church a friend mentioned to me in early January 2002. He didn't tell me anything about the church. Just the name and that the pastors were some Ferguson brothers. For some reason, I knew I should be listening. I felt my way to CCC.

Looking back on all God was doing and all that he has given, I can't help but be overwhelmed with gratitude. I think I'm in the land he promised to me. It's better than I could have imagined 5 years ago today.

City Fix

2006-10-09T19:43:00.000-05:00

I love big cities. Something about the bigness and the busyness makes my heart come alive. So when I woke up this morning on my day off I decided to ditch the planned laundry and cleaning chores and jumped on the interstate towards Chicago.

It only took me 40 minutes in the light, late-morning traffic to reach McCormick's place. My plan for the day? Simply to enjoy the city. I have a Chicago travel book that I pulled off the shelf this morning. As I leafed through the pages I came across a 3-hour walking tour of the downtown loop area. That suited my desire to get to know this city better. So I parked my car in a garage beneath Grant Park and started on my adventure.

I discovered gardens and fountains and interesting sculptures along the way. I noticed buildings and learned street names and people watched as I wandered. I had lunch in a sandwich shop while listening to a live musician play tunes like "Collide" by Howie Day and Don McLean's "American Pie." I walked through the Theatre District wishing it wasn't a Monday so that I could really be impulsive and see a show.

I ended my guidebook walking tour (which only took a little over 2-hours, by the way) sitting in the sun for a few minutes on a bench in Grant Park. As I stared at the city skyline before me and the foliage that is succumbing to the changing season, I voiced a simple prayer. "God, if you ever want me to move down here, I will."

I have dreams of living right in the heart of a city. I don't know if I ever will. I hope it isn't something I'll regret if I don't. But maybe someday there will be reason for me to stuff myself into one of those cramped, over-crowded high rises.

But for now I'll have to settle for today's city fix.

The Trouble with TV

2006-10-08T22:44:00.000-05:00

I'm in a bit of a bind this fall premier season...there are too many good shows on television!!! Normally I have 2 or at most 3 shows that I follow on a weekly basis, but this year I feel overrun by good TV. What should I cut out? I want to watch...

Greys Anatomy because I instantly fell in love with the characters the first time I watched it. Not many shows can make me laugh out loud, but Christina on Grey's manages to get me in every episode. I'm a little tired of Meredith & McDreamy's pathetic drama...but so many great characters and so many great actors.

Despite growing frustration over being so clueless, I can't stop watching Lost. What the heck is going on? Has there ever been a more intriguing show? I know if I stop watching they will reveal everything in the subsequent episode.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip sucked me right in from the pilot. I love how this show is dealing with a Christian storyline in a new way. I'm really curious to see where they take that.

Because it is getting all of the buzz, I recorded and watched the first two episodes of Heroes this past week. It might be a little dark for my tastes, but it's another one of those "What is going on?" shows that I like. But can I really afford more cluelessness if I keep Lost in the rotation?

OK. This is where you might stop reading. But it is time for me to confess I've been a faithful watcher of Gilmore Girls. It is my guilty pleasure. I've always loved the dialogue on this show. The storyline is getting a bit stale, but do I bail on a show when I've seen just about every episode?

The final show that's been finding space in my DVR is 6 Degrees. Has anyone except me watched it? I haven't heard anyone talking about it, but so far it's been pretty good. I'm giving it a chance because it is a J.J. Abrams series and, well, I owe it to him after Alias and Lost.

So what's your opinion? If you had to pick 2 shows off this list which would you choose? Or would you suggest something else? Keep in mind I'm not a reality show fan or an off-the-wall comedy sitcom fan. Some other options might be dropping a few friends or slacking off at work and keeping all the shows, but that's probably not the right choice.

Small Group

2006-10-05T21:24:00.000-05:00

I love my small group. I have to be honest that I haven't always been able to make that statement. Sometimes being in a small group has been a discipline I knew I needed to be faithful to instead of something I looked forward to every week. But for the past 9 months I can say I have honestly looked forward to every Thursday morning.

Brooke, Sara, Cindy, and I started meeting at Starbucks in January. We shared our stories. We talked about the "next steps" God was calling us to. Our curriculum for most weeks has simply been the Bible. We read 4-5 chapters on our own each week and come together to talk about them. Usually the discussion begins with Brooke asking a question that launches us into a non-stop conversation. I've loved the topics we've discussed and the rapport we've built. But what I've loved most is the laughter. I'm not sure there's anything I need more from a small group than laughter. And it has been there in abundance with this one...

Like the time Brooke and Sara discovered they both had the same short-person fear...that they wouldn't be able to spin the big wheel on The Price is Right (they are both 5' 0" tall).

Or the countless politically incorrect Puerto Rican comments we've made at Sara's expense.

Or today when one group member (who shall remain nameless) said she didn't understand what she had read about the guy named DaJesus. It took a while until I finally figured out it was the Bar-Jesus from Acts 13. But you can't blame the girl. After all, this is Chicago. DaBulls. DaBears. DaJesus.

Now sure, many of these things probably don't seem funny to you, but they still make me laugh when I recall the conversations. Small group should be a place with abundant laughter. The kind of laughter that continues in an uncontainable smile as you drive away from the meeting.

A small group filled with laughter. I think DaJesus would approve. Well, the real Jesus. Not that Bar-Jesus dude. He didn't fare so well.

Rain

2006-10-03T20:58:00.000-05:00

Incredible storms last night. I could see their effectiveness this morning as I drove through neighborhoods filled with downed branches and overturned lawn furniture. My own gas grill ended up on its side 10 feet from my house.

It rained all day yesterday. For a portion of the time I sat in my living room with the windows and front door open listening to the steady sound and watching the stream flow down from the corner of my porch onto the sidewalk below.

I love rain.

Not the kind that keeps you from going on picnics or to ballgames or the really cold rain that sends a shiver through every nerve ending. But rain on a warm, relaxed day when you can stay home and read or journal is so soothing to me.

I love its rhythm.

It's a piece of nature that refuses to be ignored.

It invites pause.

Maybe I like rain because at heart I'm a contemplative that enjoys being huddled up in a sheltered place with nothing but a pen and a spiral-bound notebook. Rain gives permission to that existence. And as it saturates the ground my soul begins to fill through the expression of thought and written words.

I hope there will be evidence of the rain in my own life afterward.

A Little More Disney...

2006-10-02T12:42:00.000-05:00

This is me (right) and my nephew Andrew (left) on Splash Mountain. Yes, the large wall of water that freezes at the end of the video ended up on my head.

Disney

2006-09-30T20:58:00.000-05:00

OK, OK, already. My apologies for not writing anything about my trip to Disney. Yes, the moment when I surprised my nephews was great. Screams of "Wha... Wha... What?!?" were followed by smiles, clapping, and some jumping on the bed. It was great. I just love those boys and had a great time trouncing around the parks with them. It makes a girl feel good to have two boys fighting over who gets to ride each ride with you. :)

A Great Haircut

2006-09-28T18:49:00.000-05:00

I just had the best haircut I've ever had. It has nothing to do with the actual hair on my head but rather the conversation I had with the stylist. I've been going to her for 4 years and multiple times during the 30-40 times I've seen her I've invited her to church. I've sent invitations to our Christmas services to the salon. I've prayed for her. And so have a handful of my friends who also get their haircut in her chair.

This past Sunday, she went to our Shorewood location.

So today our haircut conversation centered all around her first experience at CCC.

"I couldn't believe they were playing rock music...stuff I've heard on the radio."
"I loved that people were wearing jeans and drinking coffee. I love that I could get up in the morning and just come as I am."
"I felt totally comfortable being there."
"I was blown away when the Kids' City people told me that miss Melanie, a special education teacher, was there to be a 1-on-1 helper for my special needs daughter."
"My kids LOVED it. The oldest is still talking about it. On Monday when we visited her therapist she told her all about Kids' City."

As I left I asked her, "So, do you think you'll come back?" She sort of froze with an intentional look and said, "Oh, we'll be there this Sunday."

I think she could have shaved my head today and I might not have noticed.

Top 10

2006-09-16T14:13:00.000-05:00

I'm at the end of what has been the busiest 6-week stretch of my year. Why is it the end? Because I leave in 2 days for DisneyWorld. I can't tell you how many times over the past 6 weeks I've thought, "I can keep pushing it because in __ days I'm going to DisneyWorld."

Haven't had much time for posting this week so I thought I would write a post in list form. Here are the top 10 random items from this past week in no particular order...

1. Finished reading East of Eden by John Steinbeck. Really good book if you like classic literature. The major theme in it is awesome. No matter what our heritage or circumstance, we all have the opportunity to choose. Timshel: "thou mayest."

2. I kicked butt in my Fantasy Football game last week. And that was without my #1 draft pick Steve Smith. I think I have a good team this year. No Dave Ferguson beating me in the finals this year! Remembering how much I love football season.

3. Been reading through the book of Acts. Can't imagine a more exciting time in the history of the world. Dreaming of that kind of momentum happening again.

4. Wicked was even better than the hype. I absolutely LOVED it. I'm already scheming how I can go again. The story was clever, entertaining, and even beautiful at times. It's a must-see if you are able.

5. Just taught our church's baptism class. I filled in for a co-worker whose wife just had a baby. It was comedy because I've never taught it before and found out the participants were just a woman from my small group and her husband. So instead of going to church I just went over to their house and we went through the class on their back porch. I may start a new gig...baptism class home delivery.

6. I'm losing some working out momentum. Maybe it's just because in general I've been tired. I've still been going 3-4 times a week but haven't been enjoying it or feeling good during it like I have for the past 3 months. Hopefully vacation will revive this in me as well.

7. Our next campus launches in a week. It's in Yorkville. I think it will go well. I'm going to be the storyteller for the elementary kids during the first week. The series is 'The Pirates of the Caring Being.' It's on friendship. I have to dress up like a pirate. Not too fond of the costume thing, but I love teaching the kids. No cameras allowed, please.

8. Sensing God moving in a way that is going to call the staff, leaders, and attenders at my church to grow in the simplicity of regular spiritual practices. Prayer. Reading the Bible. Journaling. I think God is saying something to us regarding these things. I'm very excited about this although I don't know what it looks like yet. I just sense God is moving.

9. I ate a whole big box of Jujifruits this week. I wonder how long it takes my digestive system to process rubber.

10. The moment I'm most looking forward to next week: knocking on the hotel room door and watching my nephew's faces as they discover me in DisneyWorld.

See ya! Have a great week!

Campus Pastors

2006-09-09T22:10:00.000-05:00

Just one more reason I love the Campus Pastors at our church...

Party Time!

2006-09-06T22:30:00.000-05:00

Sometimes you have stretches where nothing exciting happens. You don't do anything particulary interesting. Just the normal rhythm of life.

Then you have times like my next two weeks...

Tomorrow? Attending an afternoon Cubs game and an evening Indians-White Sox game. Yes, in the same day. It would be better if the Cubs weren't a minor league team right now, but I still think it will be a blast.

Next Thursday? Going to see Wicked. I've wanted to see the show ever since it came to Chicago and I'm finally getting around to it.

A week from Monday? Going to DisneyWorld. Yes, a week in Disney. I'm meeting my sister's family down there. The best part is my nephews don't know I'm coming. I can't wait to see their faces when my sister opens the door to our adjoining rooms and they find me on the other side.

If only I didn't have a million things to get done in between all this stuff. But come to think of it, most of that stuff is pretty fun to me too.

2 Years? Whaaa?

2006-09-03T23:21:00.000-05:00

I just realized that I've had this blog for 2 years. Sure I hardly wrote in it for the first 9 months but still...2 years! It's funny because blogging still feels like a new thing to me. But I just had my 2-year blogging anniversary!

So if you are still sticking around reading this...thanks.

And thanks to all of you who have started blogs in the time since. I love reading your thoughts!

And if you are one of those people who got me blogging in the first place but hardly ever posts to your own blog any more (you know who you are!), please get back on the blogging bandwagon! I miss reading you!

One Thing

2006-09-03T22:34:00.000-05:00

There really isn't anything else. Just one thing. At times people might try to convince you that there's more. But there really isn't. There are illusions of more. There are excuses of more. At times I think people deny there is only one thing because it's easier to live in a world of multiples. One thing requires focus. One thing requires sacrifice. One thing requires selflessness.

One thing can make you feel odd and alone at times. It can make you wonder if you are too intense. It can make you feel naive.

But then there are those moments when the fuzz clears and clarity confirms that you have it right after all. Like when you listen to Dave tell the parable of the talents. And then Vanessa sings the words to this song:

Single minded. Whole hearted. One thing I ask.

That I may gaze upon your beauty, O Lord. That I may seek your holy face. That I may know you in an intimate way. And follow after you all of my days.

All of life comes down to just one thing and that's to know you, O Jesus, and make you known.

There really only is one thing. Don't waste your time, energy, money...your life on anything else.

A Little Rant for all the CCC'ers Out There...

2006-08-30T21:52:00.000-05:00

OK. I've had enough. I just need to vent about it. I've waited too long.

When is Jon Ferguson going to start a blog?!?

It's bad enough that he is still dragging his feet on it. But then he has the nerve to leave town for a week and a half with no way for us to keep up on his life and times. I mean, where are the pictures of Jon in front of Old Faithful? How about a little story about how he out ran a bear? Come on! Is this too much to ask?!?

I feel better now that I got it out in the open. Thanks for listening.

Fine Lines

2006-08-28T19:03:00.000-05:00

There are a lot of things in life that are hard to tell apart. A fine line separates one thing from another. Are we being careful or overprotective? Is it a joke or passive aggressive spite? Is it humility or pride?

I've been thinking today about guilt and conviction. How do you tell the difference? When a challenge is posed that calls us to something more, is it playing to our guilt or is it trying to awaken in us the call of Christ?

I think of Joshua's words..."But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose this day whom you will serve...But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."

I think some might accuse Joshua of trying to lay a guilt trip on people. He challenges them. He's basically saying, "You do what you want but I'm going to do the right thing." I could see where people today would accuse him of manipulating...of trying to guilt people into making the wise choice.

Which makes me wonder...how can the same challenge be embraced with motivation by some and rejected as a guilt trip by others? Does the challenge's reception have more to do with the readiness of the hearer's heart?

How I pray I'll never dismiss the call of Christ to take up my cross and follow because it makes me uncomfortable. I pray I'll never try to cast off guilt that is really conviction.

Well, he's blind as a bat...

2006-08-23T21:26:00.000-05:00

...but he sure is the cutest little 4-eyes I've ever seen.

Staff Oddity

2006-08-20T20:29:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about something the past day or so that strikes me as odd. As I've mentioned before in posts, I absolutely adore my co-workers at CCC. I can't imagine another staff experience that could match this one. Many of them would go above and beyond to help me out and I'd do the same for them. We spend hours and hours together and never seem to tire of each other. I really would describe them as family.

Yet something strikes me as very odd.

I don't know where most of them live.

Maybe it is a function of being on staff at a large church. Maybe it is because we are a multi-site church with seven sites in the Chicago area so people are scattered over a wide area. But it still seems odd to me that I've worked with some people for 4 years and we've never been in each other's homes. I only know where 4 of the 9 Kids' City people who directly report to me live. Eric? Don't know. Cathy? Haven't a clue. John? Only know the general area. Shannon? I bet you live in some mansion somewhere. Pat? Couldn't find it if my life depended on it.

How can you be so close to some people yet have no clue what their home lives look like?

I'm thinking we need to have one, big progressive dinner.

Carillon

2006-08-19T21:40:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow morning I'm delivering the talk during the service at our Carillon Campus. It's the one CCC campus where we don't have Kids' City...because it's in the middle of a gated retirement community. It's been over 2 years since I last spoke there (which means 2 years since I last taught in a service...which I was shocked to realize this week!). It's doubled in size since I was last there...from 60 to over 120 senior citizens celebrating each week.

I love going to Carillon. I've said after my previous 3 trips there that if you are ever feeling down on yourself you need to go talk at Carillon. The people there are so gracious. They make you feel like you made their week by coming to spend a couple hours with them. I think they think I'm something of a novelty...I'm guessing they don't see many younger women teach. I may stink but they always make me feel like I hit one out of the park. Usually a line forms at my chair in the front as soon as the service is over so that they can each share their thoughts and words of encouragement. They sure know how to build a person up.

And they have the best food spread of any of our campuses. 2 tables full of homemade goodies. Yum.

Still, it is always a bit odd preparing to talk there. I can't help think from time to time as I'm rehearsing that I have no business trying to teach these wise ones who have so much life experience. Sometimes I feel like I should just sit down on a stool in the front of the room and have them talk to me for the allotted 25 minutes. I'm sure I would learn a lot.

But off I'll go in the morning with my script and PowerPoint file. And I know they will be receptive and the Spirit will work through the words I am to deliver. But I also know that I'll end up being the one in the room who receives the most.

Pirate Holiday. Who knew?

2006-08-13T16:26:00.000-05:00

One of the things I get to do in my job is write curriculum for our elementary large group experience. I write the scripts and teachings that our communicators deliver in six places during 15 Kids' City services. It's one of those things I never could have imagined I would (or could) do, but I actually really enjoy it.

In a few weeks we'll start a new series called The Pirates of the Caring Being. These friendly pirates are going to teach the kids how to be a better friend. So today I sat down to begin writing my first pirate script. I wondered, "What do pirates say?" Of course I could pull an "Arrr" or a "Shiver me timbers" from my own knowledge base, but I decided to Google "pirate talk" to see what I could find.

That's when I discovered this: the International Talk Like a Pirate Day. I had no idea that such a holiday existed...let alone that it was internationally recognized. Where have I been? So if you are so inclined, on September 19th you are free to talk like a pirate as much as you please. If you need some help, the website has this handy English to Pirate translation tool (although it doesn't seem to work very well).

Ahoy, buckos! Have a Happy Pirate day!

Giving Back to God Confusion

2006-08-12T22:38:00.000-05:00

At our church, we call the offering time "Giving Back to God." I liked that from the first time I heard it because it reminds me that everything I have I've been given and I'm simply giving a portion back. I actually love this part of the service. I'm not really sure how my parents did it, but somehow they raised me so that tithing has never been hard for me. It's something I enjoy. It's a non-issue. I'm committed to tithing 10 percent of my income to my local church to be used in the mission of helping people find their way back to God.

My struggle comes after the tithe. I have some life goals regarding giving and I am committed to giving above and beyond a tithe. It's fun to me. I love using my money in a way that has missional and critical impact. But how do you decide what to do?

I attended Willowcreek's Leadership Summit this weekend and in one of the pre-recorded sessions Bill Hybels interviewed Bono about his passion to help the poor. I was blown away by Bono's thoughfulness and the way he articulated his deep rooted beliefs. I was challenged to be about the business of "widows and orphans." I walked away wanting to be open to how God might want to use me and my resources to tackle the greatest humanitarian problems in the world.

I went from the Summit to a dessert my church was hosting to learn more about our upcoming capital campaign. I love the mission of our church and want to help make it possible for us to launch 7 more campuses in the next span of years. I know this is important too.

And there are three other endeavors/situations that have been weighing on my heart during the past few months.

So how do you decide? How do you decide what is most important? How do you say 'no' to one great opportunity in order to say 'yes' to another?

Maybe what I need to be praying for is a big fat raise. But even that wouldn't help because then I'd have to give more at church to pay my salary.

Routines and Rhythms

2006-08-06T21:17:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking tonight about routines. Maybe it is on my mind because for the past few weeks I haven't had one. Traveling, house guests, meeting changes, friends popping in and out of town. All of these good things have added so much fun to the past few weeks but they've also obliterated any sense of a routine.

I'm wondering tonight why I find myself longing for a pattern. I'm a person who loves change and mixing it up each day. I honestly don't think I could ever work a normal 9-5 job where you did the same thing and had the same schedule every day. I love that in ministry every day is different and that I have to look at my Outlook calendar each morning to figure out where I need to be, what I need to be doing, and who I'll be meeting with. Do I really want a routine?

Maybe what I'm longing for is more of a rhythm than a routine. A sense that there is a constant beat backing up the score even if the musical notes are racing along some unpredictable pattern. Rhythm holds the whole piece together.

For me, rhythm comes through journaling and quiet and moments of gratitude. When I stop frequently to hear the beat through those practices I find that their cadence continues on through the day even if I become more focused on melodic variations.

I guess what I'm really wanting is time with God.

Hmmmm...

2006-08-01T22:34:00.000-05:00

My friend David had this thought today... If the temperature outside is hotter than the temperature of my body am I basically in a slow cooker?

Let's hope this heat wave doesn't turn into one of those frog in the kettle stories.

But seriously that is another phenomenon of creation I'd never thought of before. How come we don't "heat up" to 100 degrees when it is 100 degrees outside? God must really have known what he was doing when he came up with this design.

Respect

2006-07-31T08:38:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling so much respect for parents this morning. It's a Monday. My day off. And I'm sitting here trying to think about the best way to organize my day. I want to work out. I need to finish cleaning my house to prepare for company tomorrow. I have to return something to the mall. I'm giving a friend a ride to the airport. Etc. Etc.

All weekend I've been trying to figure out those spots where I could get some extra work done. I'm a little behind on various tasks related to my job and with my parents in town all week I know I'm going to want to take some time off. I think it just amazes me how the normal stuff of life fills up time. Mowing my lawn. Attending a baby shower. Grocery shopping. Paying bills. Before you know it, it's pushing 11pm and against your will you need to think about going to bed.

Which leaves me wondering this morning... How in the world do parents get things done? If my life feels this full with just normal everyday stuff as a single person, how do parents with the huge added responsibility of kids keep their heads above water? Sure I guess some of those "living life" tasks get split between two people, but still. And don't even get me started on how hard it must be to be a single parent.

Hats off to you, moms and dads.

hpftwbtG

2006-07-27T22:33:00.000-05:00

The mission of my church is "helping people find their way back to God." I've been thinking a lot about that statement the past few days. I love the simplicity of it. The picture of the prodigal returning to where he belongs...even if the prodigal happens to be someone who didn't even realize he was away.

I so admire the founding pastors of our church, Dave and Jon, for coming up with such a simple, powerful statement that has stayed the same during the 17-year history of our church (and probably won't need altering in the future). How did a 26 and 24-year-old get such a clear, enduring vision at so young an age?

I've been thinking about the statement as my friends Mark and Monica are trying to decide on the name and mission statement of the church they will be starting in Knoxville in February. I understand Mark's dilemma. He wants to be original and have his own creative take. Yet he feels like "helping people find their way back to God" says exactly what he needs it to say. I'm encouraging him to just steal it. I would.

But mostly I'm thinking about the people on my heart who I pray are finding their way back to God. There's the person I met at the gym. From the moment I met her I sensed God was at work. I was the first link in what has turned out to be a number of connections that has got to be getting her attention. I think God is after her. She said she'll come to church in 2 weeks. I can't wait to see what happens.

I think of a friend that I made in a community center class. I haven't heard from her in a few weeks. Now that our class is over I need to call her. She's told me multiple times that she'll come visit our church. I think she will. I wonder how God will work when she comes through the door.

I think of a woman I met at the pool last week who asked me about the book Blink that I was reading. I mentioned that my church had done a series based on the book and she took the bait and began asking me numerous questions about CCC. The conversation didn't last long but I overheard her relaying it to her husband when she returned to her deck chair. Maybe she was in church last Sunday?

I guess I'm just loving that "helping people find their way back to God" is becoming more and more the beat of my heart. For all my years in ministry, I really don't have a great track record with those outside the church. I've always been more of a "discipler" than an "evangelist." But being part of such a missionally focused church is molding my heart and actions to what I've always wanted them to be. I want to help people find their way back to God.

Time Can Stand Still

2006-07-24T21:04:00.000-05:00

It's amazing to me how things have changed. This past week I went home to Ohio where among other things I set up a new Dell computer for my 87-year-old grandmother. Do you think she could have even fathomed the internet when she was 20-years-old? Or 70-years-old? Now she regularly corresponds through e-mail and plays cyber-Scrabble. She uses words like "screen-saver" and "SpyBot." She told me three times that she's still waiting on the rebate check from the wireless router she purchased. My grandpa died less than 10 years ago but if he were alive today he wouldn't have a clue what she was talking about.

Yet, for all the wonders of progress I think sometimes I'm even more amazed by what doesn't change. On Saturday my family visited the Memphis Kiddie Park. What is that you might ask? Well, it's an amusement park for toddlers and preschoolers on Memphis Avenue in Brookpark, Ohio. In truth, it's really a parking lot with a few miniature carnival rides and a pathetic mini-golf course. It probably looks like a joke to an outsider but to me it was wonderful. Why? Because it is exactly as it was 30 years ago when I was the preschooler thrilled by the rides. My 4-year-old nephew sat in the same boat I rode in 1975. He and Andrew squealed during the 2-lap ride on the "Little Dipper" roller-coaster probably the same way my sister and I did years back. Honestly the only thing different in the park from my childhood to the present was a few coats of paint and the availability of diet pop. No new rides. None of the old ones gone. Sure the tickets were probably more expensive but it was still just 1 ticket for any ride. And the kids were in heaven just like I was so many years ago.

When we went back to my parent's house we got out the old silent films that my mom had put onto VHS tapes a few years back. We watched my sister as a 2-year-old ride the rides as I slept as a baby in the carriage. I have to admit I'm a person who loves change and progress and the newness of things. But there is something very special about memories frozen in time. It's like something good that can be relived and reclaimed. I'm glad I got to go to the Kiddie Park.

Workouts

2006-07-19T11:41:00.000-05:00

Explain this to me. I don't work out for approximately 5 years. Now after 8 weeks of consistent hour-long workouts 4-5 times per week I'm really bummed that I won't get to work out for 5 days while I travel to Ohio. I don't want my progress to be halted. I don't want to go backward. Funny how something that didn't matter to you at all for years and years can become such a value so quickly.

Maybe my grandma and I can go jogging.

In just 24 hours...

2006-07-18T22:00:00.000-05:00

...I will get to enjoy this...

You know you've been gone too long when your nephew grew a mustache since your last visit.

I Just Did a Bad Thing...

2006-07-17T22:56:00.000-05:00

Do any of you ever do this? It's almost 11pm and I just sat down at my computer and compiled my "to do" list for the next several weeks. I feel a little bit of panic edging at my brain but mostly having things in list form is motivation to my beaver personality. Honestly, I'm now realizing that the month of August is going to be out of control. Summer ends with my trip to Ohio this week. But that's OK. I love to work and work hard.

But the problem with my list making is that I just did it at 11pm. I probably just bought myself an hour or two of lying in bed thinking. I am guaranteed to have dreams about upcoming meetings, talks I will give, projects I will be working on. Sometimes I work in my dreams. I dream about actual meetings and the conversations that will happen within them. I think at times I actually make decisions in my sleep.

So if anyone wants to go grab a burger at 12:30am tonight I might still be up. You'd better not call though because if I am asleep I'm probably busy in a meeting.

Influential Churches

2006-07-13T22:12:00.000-05:00

This week we received news that Community Christian Church was listed as #13 on a list of the Top 50 Most Influential Churches as compiled by The Church Report. According to the article they surveyed the 2000 largest churches in the United States and asked them what churches were the most influential. And ours ended up at #13! I've had several reactions as I've thought about that this week...

"How cool! Something we are doing is making a difference to other churches around the country. I love being a part of this church!"

"Whaaaaa....? Really? Maybe some of the churches misunderstood the question."

"By golly, we're the 13th most influential church in the country." (although I didn't really use the phrase "by golly")

"Don't get proud. Don't get proud. Don't get proud. Don't get proud."

But where I've settled as I've considered this survey is that I'm determined to make the most of the opportunity God has given us to make a difference for his Kingdom. We have been entrusted with much...and one of those things is influence. We need to use it wisely and fully.

And I think of my part in that. We didn't make the list because of our children's ministry. I think we have a great ministry, but I feel like its influence has been very limited to this point. Just this week I had a planning retreat with the Campus Directors and we dreamt together for a while about what we can do to play a bigger role in helping new churches get started. That excites me. I can give my life to that.

E-mail Conflict

2006-07-10T18:52:00.000-05:00

For all the good the internet and e-mail have brought into our lives, there is one phenomenon that exceedingly puzzles me. It's e-mail conflict. Why in the world do people continue to convince themselves that the best way to confront a situation they are upset about is through e-mail? Fortunately I don't receive many of these confrontive messages. But a couple times a year something will find its way into my inbox and I shake my head in amazement again. Has anything ever been solved through e-mail conflict? Isn't a face-to-face conversation still inevitably needed between the concerned parties?

I have a typical response to these e-mails. For one, if possible I ignore them for a couple days. Is that wrong? I find myself wanting people to feel the angst of silence when they choose this route of relating. Maybe that is cruel. Maybe it is wise. Somehow I hope that the discomfort of dropping a bomb and then having to wait for a reaction will make them think twice the next time they choose this medium for conflict resolution. I don't know if my little "lesson" ever works.

Then, I simply reply by telling them they need to talk to the person/people they are upset with. Key word: talk. Not type, talk. Face-to-face talk. The very thing the cyber-user wants to avoid is the only answer to the problem. Sure it can be painful and difficult but it is the only way if resolution is desired.

Which makes me wonder...does the e-mail confronter really want a positive resolution? Are they really concerned about restoring relationship? Maybe they just want to lash out and wound. Maybe they just want to get someone in trouble. Better stop pondering this...it will make me not want to reply.

So the moral of the story is... please avoid the e-mail confrontation and choose a little Matthew 18 instead. Or write a post on your blog about it instead of telling the person face-to-face that you don't want to receive their rants through e-mail. Shoot. I gotta go...

My Father

2006-07-09T19:20:00.000-05:00

Has anyone else noticed that the older you get the more prominent traces of your parent's influence become? Things you moaned about when you were a kid now are enjoyable to you. Distinguishing marks of your parent's interests rise to the surface of your maturing self. People have always compared me to my mom and in many ways we are similar... we both chose careers in ministry, both love to lead, both are sports fanatics. But as I get older I see more and more traces of my father in my interests. For example, this weekend I...

Took a day off of work to go to the Western Open. It's just about 12 miles from my house to Cog Hill Country Club and I couldn't resist the temptation to watch Tiger and Phil play a round of golf. (BTW...There isn't another sport where you are able to be in such close proximity to the athletes. I could have tripped Phil Mickelson on one occasion if I wanted to. Don't worry, I didn't.) I am one of those rare people (especially among women) who enjoys watching golf. Golf has always been my dad's game. He plays weekly. I would have loved to have taken him to the tournament this week.

I have been recording a program called "The Revolution" on the History Channel. My mom still rolls her eyes when my dad monopolizes the television with history-themed programs. Over the past week or so I've been sucked into this series detailing the battles and chronology of the Revolutionary War. The history geek in me lies just below the surface. I definitely have my dad to thank for this.

I'm listening to more and more talk radio. Now some of this might be due to my boredom with much of the music that's out there, but I'm guessing at least part of it comes from my dad. I don't think I listen to the same things my dad does but still...talk radio? You can get quite an amazing wealth of useless knowledge from NPR.

I haven't started falling asleep while sitting in the living room or speaking with a German accent. I don't anticipate those things happening, but you never know.

New Fan

2006-07-05T23:20:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's a bit of World Cup fever, but I'm starting to take a liking to watching soccer. It's one of the few sports I've not had much interest in over the years, but that may be changing.

Yesterday after watching Italy defeat Germany in a dazzling finish to a defensive dominated game, I hopped in the car with some friends and went to my first Chicago Fire game. The City of Chicago just built a brand new soccer-only stadium for the MLS team. It was only a 30-minute drive from my house and for $35 dollars I got a ticket in the 7th row just a section or two over from mid-field. You are so close to the action that you could hear the players arguing with the referee. The new stadium just opened a week ago so it was beautiful and clean. I got a kick out of the one section of fans in the cheap seats that brought large banners and flags and literally sang throughout the entire game. I think they were trying to teach us how the rest of the world watches soccer. The fire won the game 1-0 on an amazing bicycle kick goal. And the 4th of July fireworks afterward were some of the best I've seen.

So maybe my European roots are starting to show (my dad is a German immigrant, in case you didn't know). Maybe next time I'll take a giant 10-foot flag with me and sing myself hoarse.

Backyard

2006-07-02T21:14:00.000-05:00

Just spent an hour or so in my backyard reading and journaling. There's not much to my backyard. I don't have a patio or deck. Just a couple chairs and a small table that sit in close proximity to my house. From this position I look out into a large open grass space that spans the distance of a couple football fields between me and the next set of houses. Rare breathing room in the Chicago suburbs.

As the sun set and the atmosphere became too dark for reading, I sat back and stared at the light shows that danced around me. Random fireworks springing up from various pockets of the neighborhood. Unlike those that we'll see in a couple days, these light displays are barely visible above the rooftops of the houses. Yet the lack of grandeur doesn't seem to discourage their igniters one bit.

Another light display stretches out in front of me. It's one of summer's most recognizable forms: fireflies. This may be the one bug in all creation that I don't mind being around. I flush spiders down the toilet even after I kill them because I want them as far away from me as possible. Yet, I'll purposely try to catch a lightening bug between my hands.

Their colorful display is interrupted by the jingle of a dogtag and the giggles of his master as I watch a dog that couldn't weigh more than 8 pounds chase a litter of rabbits across my backyard. Snoopy's owner, an African American man probably in his 30's, jogs close behind. I smile as I realize he isn't trying to catch his dog. He's simply enjoying the sight of it all. Snoopy dodges this way and that...unsure which rabbit trail to follow. We both laugh appreciating his effort knowing he'll never really catch one.

Sometimes I have a hard time resting. Even in my quiet times I am often striving. Productivity is fun to me and purpose fuels my soul. But sometimes a blessing can come by just stopping and noticing. Appreciating life not because it is anything spectacular but just because it is. What do you see in your own backyard?

Random Package

2006-06-29T23:02:00.000-05:00

I received a random package yesterday. It wasn't expected. Just went to the mailbox after work and saw that sight that can make your heart flutter a bit. The padded yellow envelope. Tucked away within the grocery store flyers and credit card solicitations I found the parcel with my friend Erika's name written as the return address. It had been a somewhat draining day but that little bubble-wrap-lined object instantly brightened my countenance.

I love the random package. It just might be one of the best things in life.

It's been a while since I've sent one. I'm thinking I need to do that soon. Anyone want to join me? We could just pick a day...say next Saturday, July 8th...and all send a random package to someone just because.

...then we could make a movie about our random kindness only making sure the little boy doesn't die in the end.

Go To Stories

2006-06-25T19:07:00.000-05:00

Had brunch with a couple of my best friends yesterday. We were laughing as we reminisced about past vacations and experiences. Several of the stories shared were my "go to" stories. You know, those funny or unusual stories that come out during parties or social gatherings. I've told these stories over and over again in different contexts and with different people. Until yesterday I never thought about the concept of "go to" stories, but I think these are three of my best:

Getting caught in the middle of a government coup in Haiti.
Being stopped by two Secret Service Agents at the White House for having a can of Easy Cheese in my backpack.
Watching police divers pull a dead body out of the pond behind my apartment while I was hosting a reunion for Campus House alums.

Interested? You'll have to ask me to tell you one of them the next time I see you. And I want to hear yours. What are your "go to" stories?

Two New Blogs...

2006-06-24T20:26:00.000-05:00

I love it when people I want to hear from start blogs! These two new blogs are going straight into my "Favorite Blogs" folder:

Mark Nelson has been a friend and ministry-partner for 12 years. We first met at a campus ministry conference where we were paired as small group leaders for the week. 5 years later I met his wife Monica and she became one of my dearest friends in the world (and the rumor is her blog is coming soon). Mark is one of the most gifted teachers I know and I have no doubt his new blog will be worth the read. Follow the link on his name to check it out!

Janet McMahon was one of the first friends I was drawn to when I moved to the Chicago area. We don't get to spend nearly enough time together so I'm glad I'll be able to read about her life now on her blog. Janet is a mom of 3 and a Small Groups Director at our church. She is a great listener and observer and I'm sure she'll have great insights to share with her readers.

Family

2006-06-23T22:55:00.000-05:00

I have never gone this long without seeing my parents. It's been 6 months and there will be a seventh until I make the trek home to Ohio for my mom's birthday. It's strange how much time can go by with only 6 hours separating us. My busy schedule. My parents taking care of my grandmother. Those are the reasons that keep us apart.

I talked to my nephew Andrew on the phone the other day. I asked him what his summer plans were. He said, "I'd like to come to your house." I replied that I didn't think that was going to happen this summer. But then I added, "But I'm coming to your house in July." "Oh, that will do then," was Andrew's reply. How precious to know that your 10-year-old nephew just wants to spend time with you.

This week I participated in a Church Planting Assessment Center. My job as an assessor was to analyze and critique the 15 people who were going through the process. We had to learn tons about their backgrounds and spent hours observing and interviewing them in order to make a recommendation as to whether or not they "had what it takes" to lead a church plant. You can delve pretty deeply into a person's life in a 60-hour period. My heart broke listening to some of their stories. So many people have so much to overcome. Sure there are the willful mistakes they made on their own, but there are also incredible odds stacked up against them simply because of the family they entered at some hospital somewhere decades ago.

So many family stories break my heart. But I am humbled by my own. Everyone deserves to miss their parents. Everyone deserves to be someone's summer plans. Family. It's amazing how this one concept can be the source of so much joy in some circumstances and in others so much pain.

Future

2006-06-19T21:29:00.000-05:00

Met with a financial advisor today to set up some retirement stuff. I am determined to be able to eat when I'm 80 so I know I need to get serious about saving. It's so weird at 35 to have to think that far ahead. It can start freaking you out if you are not careful. Ultimately I know the future is about trusting God, but I also know it is my responsibility to make wise choices now to prepare.

I wonder...how long will I work? Most people think about retiring at age 60 or 65. But I have one grandma who is still ticking at 87 and another who died at 96. I can't imagine spending 30 years watching the Price Is Right and making mental lists of all the things I've eaten in a day so that I can recall them to people who stop by or call. If my earliest memories are from about 5 that means I've consciously lived 30 years to this point. An amazing amount of experiences, learnings, and offerings have characterized those 30 years. I hope the 30 between 60 and 90 are filled with as much purpose.

I don't know if my church will still want me on staff when I'm 70. I might have to make a career change at that point. But I want to prepare to be productive for the long haul. I'm realizing now that means not just preparing for my financial future but for my physical, spiritual, mental, and relational future as well.

Right now getting older doesn't freak me out. It just makes me more determined. Determined to make wise choices. Determined to consider more than my present comfort. Determined to live with intention.

Tree Fight

2006-06-18T22:15:00.000-05:00

I had a fight with a tree this weekend. And I lost. The confrontation happened at Starved Rock State Park near Utica, Illinois. Our Kids' City staff went there Friday-Saturday for our annual retreat. When I arrived on Friday at 4pm only a few others had trickled in. It was 90-some degrees outside so they opted to stay in the air-conditioned lodge to play a board game. It's against my religion to choose a board game over a scenic nature park so I headed out on a trail alone.

It wasn't a long trail. It led to a beautiful canyon. But it was hot so I was thankful I'd brought along a water bottle. My head was tilted back as I gulped down some refreshment when suddenly my body came to screeching halt. No, I didn't walk into a tree. Somehow a root sticking up was as sharp as a knife and caught my tennis shoe as I passed by. The root cut into the mesh on the toe of my shoe and held on for dear life. My left foot stuck behind me, I began the struggle to stay on my feet. For some reason my biggest concern was to keep from spilling my water. I'm sure it was only 2 or 3 seconds but it felt like a minute as time slowed and I bobbled this way and that. I didn't go down with out a fight. But I went down. Hard onto the roots of the tree with both shins. I was ticked that I spilled 1/2 of my water, but I bounced back up and continued my trek to the canyon.

When I returned to the lodge several others had arrived and were anxious to see some of the beauty of the park. I offered to take them on my little canyon hike and on the way pointed out the vicious tree that had taken me out. It was then that one of my walking companions pointed out that had I fallen on the left side of the tree (instead of the right where I landed) I might have come close to falling off the ledge into the canyon. It was probably about a 40-foot drop.

I guess I'll be thankful for the two black and blue welts on my shins.

I'd Like 50 Ice Creams, Please

2006-06-14T17:17:00.000-05:00

Just got back from a day long all-staff retreat. This was our once-a-year gathering where we talk about the hills we want to charge as a church in the coming ministry year. We spent part of the day on our own listening to God, part of it in small groups talking about our next personal and ministry steps, and part of it brainstorming how we are going to tackle our initiatives for the coming year. We ended the day at Cold Stone Creamery. 50 people getting mounds of too much ice cream. Good times.

Every year something happens to me on the day of this retreat. I always have a moment at some point in the day when I am overwhelmed with gratitude for what I get to do and even more who I get to do it with. This time the moment came on the car ride home. I'd drove to the retreat with Mark Nelson who is a good friend dating back to my campus ministry days. As I mentioned in a previous post, Mark is here for 2 months doing a leadership residency with us. As we talked about the day and his experience here to this point, he made some comment about how great it was to get to be a part of this staff community if only for a short time. He talked about the dynamics he saw and how amazing the leadership and staff culture are. I know I stumbled into something amazing when I joined this staff nearly 4 years ago. I really don't feel like I ever take that for granted...I find myself feeling grateful for it almost every day. Yet sometimes there is an extra surge of amazement and I find myself thinking, "I can't believe this has been given to me." As David once said..."The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places." I'm excited about the coming ministry year and the plans we have, but the truth is...I'd charge just about any hill if I got to do it with this group of people.

Can I Get Some Kudos?

2006-06-11T22:55:00.000-05:00

We are now entering week 4 of Tammy's attempt to become a healthy, fit person. Yes, just under a month ago I finally was fed up with my sluggish, sedentary life and decided to make some major changes. I started drinking water regularly. I cut out the daily Hostess Ding Dong from my diet. I started taking vitamins. I'm eating more vegetables. I even let them keep the tomato on my sandwich at Panera today and it wasn't bad. And I joined the aforementioned LifeTime Fitness health club and started working out. I'm especially proud of how well I've been doing at the latter. This health club is so nice that I actually want to be there. Every time I am there I see people from church which is fun. And I think one of the Personal Trainers might come visit our church as a result of our interactions. I've worked out 15 times in the past 22 days. I really hope I can keep up with it because I'm feeling so much better.

So anyone else up for a health kick? I'm going public with mine so that you can boo me if I slack off.

I wonder if it is too late to make the US Olympic Women's Basketball Team?

Mixed Reception

2006-06-11T22:30:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I feel like I can't win on Sunday mornings. Since taking over the leadership of Kids' City here at Community Christian Church, one of the things I do is travel around to our various campuses on Sundays to observe how things are going and provide encouragement and feedback to the staff and volunteers serving in the children's ministry. What kind of reception do I get? It ranges from..."Hey everyone! Tammy's here! We're so glad to see you!" to "Oh, crap! Tammy's here. Are we being audited?"

Case in point...today I headed out to one of our campuses. The director knew I was coming and also knew I intended to spend some time in the preschool area. When I arrived I was greeted pretty much immediately by the preschool leader telling me she was under-prepared, just had a terrible morning, one of her co-leaders wasn't there today, etc. etc. This was the "Oh, crap! Tammy's here." reaction. I tried to reassure her and 9:30am service started. She and her team did a fabulous job. I was quite impressed. Maybe she'll be happier to see me next time.

Since things went so well I decided to go to the adult service since I had missed the Saturday night service the night before. I left a few minutes before the service was over so that I could make the rounds and say hello to all the 11am service volunteers. When I got to the preschool area the leader for that hour seemed disappointed as she lamented, "I thought you were going to come hang out with us today." I felt bad because she seemed genuinely let down that I didn't come for their storytime. I think I prefer the "Oh, crap!" response to disappointing someone.

Maybe next week I'll just sleep until noon on Sunday to avoid toying with people's emotions. Or maybe I should come up with some kind of costume or disguise so no one recognizes me when I visit? Such Sunday morning drama!

Ready for Some Baseball?

2006-06-10T08:56:00.000-05:00

I am...provided there isn't a rainout...going to an Indians-White Sox game today here in Chicago. My beloved Tribe is in town with their best pitcher on the mound which hopefully gives us a good chance to whip up on the World Champions. Now this may be an ugly day because I'm going with one of my co-workers, Tony, who is a huge White Sox fan. There may be pushing and shoving and cursing before the day is over. GO TRIBE!!!!

Sudoku

2006-06-08T22:12:00.000-05:00

I am potentially in trouble. 3 days ago I had never heard of a Sudoku but oddly enough two different people in two different settings happened to mention the word to me on the same day. The first was Troy, one of the pastors at my church. He said he likes to do the puzzles before he goes to bed at night. Said he feels like it keeps his brain exercised. The second person was Meghan, the 10-year-old daughter of my friend Monica. She'd cut one out of the newspaper but said it was too hard for her. I asked her to explain to me what it was. And she gave me the clipping.

Now many of you may remember that I was a math major in college. My degree has no bearing on my current life yet there is still some math geek lurking within. So tonight I brought Meghan's newspaper clipping home and was entranced by it for 45 minutes until I solved it. I chose to work on it before I even checked my e-mail. Has one addiction just been bumped for another?

This could be a problem.

Summer

2006-06-05T21:40:00.000-05:00

This feels like one of the first, really great summer evenings. I love this time of year.

It's not drastically hot yet so open windows are still an option. I always hold out to the last possible moment to turn the air conditioner on. It's not that I worry about paying the electric bill, I just love to have the windows open. I love to hear the crickets chirping and listen to the stillness of a summer night. OK, it wasn't so great the other night when the neighbor's dog was barking incessantly at 1am, but in general I love to sleep in a room with an open window.

I love that the television is full of reruns. I watch too much TV in the winter. Not much temptation in the summer. Life is captured by more fulfilling things.

I love being barefoot.

Mostly I love when the sunset draws me to sit still in my chair starting at around 8:30pm. Time for my barefoot, near open window self to enjoy peace. Time to journal to God and reflect on the day that's closing. This is my favorite part of summer.

Getting Excited

2006-06-02T08:23:00.000-05:00

Some of you from the campus ministry world might remember Mark and Monica Nelson. They were on staff at the Purdue Christian Campus House and Mark often was the speaker at the National Student Leadership Conference we held each summer. They have been dear friends of mine for years. Mark and I met over 10 years ago when we were paired as small group leaders at the conference. I met Monica a few years after that and she instantly became a mentor and close friend. During my last 3 years in Charleston I'd drive 5 1/2-6 hours round trip in a day just to have lunch and a few hours with her.

So why am I getting excited? Mark and Monica and their 3 kids will be here on Monday...for 2 months! Mark is coming to do a Leadership Residency with my church in preparation for planting a new church in Knoxville, Tennessee. They will be staying in a house that is .7 miles from my own. We hardly know what to do with ourselves. I know the summer will fly by even faster than it usually does, but I'm so thankful for this chance to live for a while near one of my closest friends.

Triggers

2006-06-01T21:41:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I feel like words and thoughts explode out of me that I can't control. I'm not talking about angry stuff (although I can be prone to that as well) but more passion triggers. Something toggles inside of me and before I know it I'm throwing up intensity all over the place. Usually afterward I'm not sure if something good or something bad just happened. It feels a little bit like what Jeremiah described:

Whenever I speak, the words come out in a violent outburst. "Violence and destruction!" I shout. So these messages from the LORD have made me a household joke. And I can't stop! If I say I'll never mention the LORD or speak in his name, his word burns in my heart like a fire. It's like a fire in my bones! I am weary of holding it in! Jeremiah 20:8-9

At times I want to stay silent and calm but there's a "fire in my bones." Mostly it's about calling people (myself included) to intimacy with God. I can't stand that we don't seek him when he is so willing to be found. It kills me when we make him an afterthought. I feel so burdened that we keep our desire for him at the center of all our efforts to make a difference for him.

So something triggers me and this passion pours out in words. And a lot of times it is met with silence or confusion. And then I wonder why I couldn't just keep my mouth shut...or if there is judgement polluting my passion and corrupting it...or if I am just odd.

I'm not sure if I should be praying for self-control or courage.

Spirit-Led Chain

2006-05-30T21:08:00.000-05:00

How often we forget that there is so much more going on than meets the eye. I was reminded of that this past week in a conversation with my pastor, co-worker, and close friend Tim.

We were talking after the Saturday night service and I felt led to ask him to pray for a person I'd met the previous Monday. She'd been on my heart and mind all week. It was actually the personal trainer who did my initial fitness assessment at the gym I just joined. As we made small talk at the beginning of our session I discovered she was from Kansas, Illinois...a small town just 10 miles from where I used to live in Charleston, IL. I mentioned that I'd been to Kansas before...that I'd attended Kansas Christian Church on several occasions. Her face lit up as she declared, "That's my church!" As the conversation continued I sensed a mixture of emotions going on in her soul. I don't know for sure but my guess is that she grew up really "getting it" in a church community that nurtured her young heart. Then like so many others she grew up, moved away, got married, had kids, and never really got involved in a church. I could see longing in her as we talked...almost as if she knew what she was missing. When I mentioned that I was a Children's Director she sighed and said something about having led VBS's at her church and how much she missed it. I invited her to church. She seemed somewhere in between receptive and resistant.

So as I relayed bits and pieces of this conversation to Tim he stopped me and asked, "What does she look like?" As I described her a knowing look came across his face. He said, "I met the same person this week on Tuesday in my neighborhood. I saw a family at the park behind my house and felt like I should go out to meet them. So I went and talked to the wife while the husband played with the kids."

The same person. 10 miles apart in two different settings (and it's not like there are only a few people here in the suburbs of Chicago). I met her on Monday. Tim met her on Tuesday. Both of us ended up having spiritual conversations with her. God is after her heart. If she'll respond to him this will be a great story of someone finding their way back to God.

It makes me wonder how God is pursuing the people I come in contact with everyday. It's so much fun to be part of the Spirit-led chain in a life. I think Tim and I got to be close links in the chain this week. Maybe there are other links that have been put in place in the days that have passed since. I have another appointment with her next Monday. I hope she is listening.

Health Insurance

2006-05-27T22:04:00.000-05:00

I have the most amazing health insurance. Apparently it saved my church a significant amount of money switching to this company. It comes with this program called Vitality that provides incentives when you take measures to take care of yourself. You earn points for going to the doctor and participating in fitness classes. This week I discovered that they will subsidize a health club membership at this huge, beautiful club a few miles from my house. So a week ago I became a member of Lifetime Fitness. I only have to pay $20 a month instead of the normal $50 a month. The place is incredible. I'm sure at some point it will become a discipline but I like it so much I worked out 6 times this week. I don't think I've done that since high school.

If that isn't enough...while looking around on the Vitality website last night I discovered that the points I earn can also be cashed in for prizes. You can select iTunes giftcards, movie theater tickets, airline miles, or discount hotel stays. I've hardly earned any points but already I have enough for 55 iTunes downloads. So last night I cashed in some points for 10 iTunes songs and downloaded some new tunes.

Now I realize that I have no idea yet how well the medical benefit of this insurance will be. My right arm might fall off and they may refuse to pay to have it reattached. But for right now I'm digging my new tunes and the treadmills.

Intentionality

2006-05-24T20:33:00.000-05:00

Why is it the most obvious things are always the best things? Better yet, why is it I so often forget that engaging in simple acts will leave me feeling better, body and soul? Things like...

Pausing before I get out of bed to set my thoughts on God.
Driving around in silence...no radio, no cell phone.
Drinking water throughout the day.
Reading bits of God's Word while I eat breakfast.
Exercising.
Choosing reading or journaling over television.
Sitting outside enjoying a warm summer evening.
Praying for specific requests.
Taking a walk.

These are the simple things that do it for me. I hope my summer is marked by them.

Simple

2006-05-21T22:12:00.000-05:00

Continuing to think about life change and true spiritual growth. I shared the thoughts from my previous post with my small group this past Thursday. Brooke, Sara, Cindy, and I have been meeting for 5 months. We've each taken a week to share our life story, gone through a spiritual assessment guide my church produced, read the first few chapters of a book that some of us were having a hard time connecting with, and mostly laughed a lot together as we've been getting to know one another. It's been a great 5 months but now I'm really excited about what is to come.

We decided that for this next stretch of our group life we are going to do something simple. Each week we are going to discuss just one question. It may be the same question every week. Or maybe the one question will vary. I'm not sure yet. But the question we're starting with is this: "What next step is God calling me to?" That's it. That will be the basis of our group discussion. That next step can be about anything. We'll each have a chance to share and then we'll continue to follow the progress of our answer in the weeks to come.

Well, there might be some more. When we'd decided on the question Brooke asked, "I would love it if somehow we could read some of the Bible together too." What a novel idea that is. So in addition to our one question I volunteered to come up with a few chapters each week for the group to read and think about during the week.

For some reason, this feels like a breath of fresh air. Sometimes we make things so complicated that really lend themselves to simplicity. I just want to cut to the heart of what God desires to do in each of our lives. I think our small group has the potential to become a prime environment for significant life change.

What about you? What next step is God calling you to? Maybe it's a question you can wrestle with in your own small group, in your family, or during lunch with a friend. It's a simple question, but it could end up being the most important one you'll ever ask.

Life Change

2006-05-17T21:13:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about life change the past couple weeks. What is spiritual maturity? How do we know if we are growing? I went to a workshop during my marathon of conferences that defined a spiritual mature person as one who lives as if God is who he says he is and will do what he promised to do. Spiritual development is in essence faith development. We're growing when we are trusting God more. We're maturing when our life begins to reflect more and more that we believe him.

Today I had a great one-on-one meeting with a young guy who is growing. I was so encouraged by how he is sensing the movement of God in his life and how earnestly he wants to respond. He is fearful of the steps God is calling him to, but his deepest desire is to jump and trust that God will catch him.

Yet these conversations seem too out-of-the-ordinary to me. Are the majority of people in my church moving forward on the path to spiritual maturity? Is real life change happening? Are they growing? Am I?

Are we growing in love for one another? Are we moving toward extreme generosity? Are we stepping out of the bounds of our comfort and selfishness more and more to give all we have to the Jesus mission?

Or are most of us stationary? How do we begin moving? Not just isolated cases of movement here and there but mass movement. Community movement.

How do we come to believe God more? I can only imagine what could happen if we did. Somehow I think everything is depending on it.

Take That Rasheed!

2006-05-15T20:37:00.000-05:00

"I know we're going to win it," Wallace said sitting on the scorer's table following Sunday practice at Quicken Loans Arena. "We're going to bust their (butt). Tomorrow night is the last game here in this building for this year."

At least for this one day in my 35-year history...it's good to be a Cleveland fan. No matter what happens the rest of this series, winning tonight was a blast. It's back to Detroit for game 5 and then we'll see Rasheed and his friends back in Cleveland for game 6.

Getting Life in Order

2006-05-12T22:18:00.000-05:00

I am SO looking forward to tomorrow. It's Saturday and I have absolutely NOTHING on my calendar that I have to do. After traveling for the past three weeks, I am ready to have a day at home to get my life in order. The top 10 things I'm looking forward to about tomorrow...

1. Buying perishable groceries.
2. Balancing my checkbook to figure out how much money is really in there.
3. Emptying the few clean items that remain in my dishwasher.
4. Loading the 2 tons of dirty dishes from my sink into the dishwasher.
5. Unpacking my suitcase and actually putting it away.
6. Sleeping in.
7. Emptying the overflowing garbage can in my bathroom.
8. Putting away my ironing board.
9. Not doing the 9th thing if I don't feel like it.
10. Doing laundry so that every item I own that is not on my body is clean.

I don't know what it is about having order in my home that is peaceful to me. When I can get the mundane taken care of I feel free to be fully present in the things that matter. What is that? Is that a beaver personality thing? Is that just part of being a woman? I don't know. But tomorrow night at this time I'm going to be happy. If only it wasn't raining I could get my lawn mowed and garden mulched. That would be pure bliss.

Where Am I?

2006-05-07T19:28:00.000-05:00

Missing blogging while I'm on my tour of church conferences. Currently in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina getting ready for the Coast-to-Coast Multi-Site Conference that starts tomorrow. I'm teaching two breakouts on Multi-Site Children's Ministry. I feel a bit unprepared but hopefully things will come together once we get rolling on the topic.

Yesterday I was in Atlanta. Spent 4 days there at the Grow-Up Conference at Northpoint Community Church. Such an incredible church. Visit it sometime if you are in the area.

The week before that I was at the National New Church Conference in Orlando.

I'm having a blast hanging out with various co-workers and being challenged with a lot of ideas as I sit through sessions. But man I'm getting tired! How do people who travel all the time for their jobs do it?

Riveting TV

2006-04-30T21:46:00.000-05:00

UPDATE: The only thing worse than ABC giving this stunt two hours of airtime is the fact that it failed. I just read this article and he didn't even make the 9 minute record. He lasted barely over 7 minutes. What is wrong with us?

This may be one of the stupidest things I've ever seen. ABC is advertising the heck out of this 2-hour special that runs next Monday:

David Blain: Drowned Alive

The tagline: "Blaine Will Attempt to Hold His Breath Underwater Longer Than Any Other Human Being, After Spending Seven Days Living in a Spectacular Human Aquarium in Full Public View"

He is going to attempt to hold his breath underwater for 9 minutes. And they are going to use up 2-hours of primetime network television to show it. Don't forget to set your TiVo.

Dreams

2006-04-28T20:04:00.000-05:00

Thinking about dreams tonight. Not my own but those of the people I was around this week. Some I know. Others I will never meet. But they were all in Orlando.

One has a special place in my heart. Our history together includes a few years of intense discipleship as she navigated her early 20's. Seeing her life unfold in the sunshine state felt like a reward of those years. Her greatest dream has been fulfilled in the best way I could imagine. Yet she has other dreams too. She dreams of being a writer.

I attended a conference that was full of dreamers. Men and women who were forming and chasing the dream of planting a church. Their dreams are for people they haven't even met yet. They dream of people finding their way back to God and community and purpose.

I saw hope birthed in the dreams of two dear friends. Their road has been hellish over the past two years. They have been walking in confusion for so long...sometimes dancing on the edge of despair. But it seemed like God shifted the wind this week. Did hope just blow in? Did a dream begin the process of birthing? I'm praying that it did. I want them to dream again.

And I got to learn a bit more about the dreams of the leaders of my church. They have big dreams. Dreams of a movement. Missional dreams. Dreams to change the world. I am inspired by their dreams. They are certainly contagious.

Will all of these dreams be realized? I don't know. Chances are some might not. But I don't think that should be our concern. I think our job is to chase our dreams. To keep them before us as long as God places them on our hearts. To follow after them through every door that opens to their existence. God will decide where they lead.

Gratitude

2006-04-23T22:56:00.000-05:00

I wonder...is gratitude an unrehearsed product of circumstance or a chosen path of existence? When someone truly lives from a center of gratitude is it because the boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places (Psalm 16:6) or because they have learned the art of embracing the boundary lines no matter where they are drawn? Does the truly grateful person keep finding themselves in the best situation or does trust cause them to see the present situation as optimal?

All I know is grateful is my favorite emotion. It is pure beauty in the face of an elderly person. It melts me to see it in the expressions of a child. Its presence attracts me to the souls of my peers. And it is the essence of joy, peace, and hope when it is present in my own heart.

Competitive

2006-04-20T20:55:00.000-05:00

What makes a person competitive? Why is it that some people seem to have a competitive gene that permeates every area of their lives? I have it. Competition is fun to me. It's not that I want to beat another person down, but there's nothing like the adreniline rush of going head to head trying to do your best to claim victory.

Yesterday our whole staff went bowling for a fun team-building experience. One of my co-workers and I had been trash talking for several days about the event. We decided to bowl for pie. He now owes me two slices of banana creme.

Another co-worker, Eric, and I were talking about this competitive streak on the car ride over to the lanes. He joked that we should hire someone else and give them my exact position with some fake campuses to oversee (only I wouldn't know they were fake). He thought it might improve my job performance if I had someone to go head-to-head with in ministry. I think he was joking. Maybe.

Today my children's staff was planning the theme for our annual training conference. We were talking about having a race car theme and filming a video of our staff racing big wheels on a Nascar track. My first thought, "Short people will have an advantage racing big wheels. My legs are too long." As if it was really going to matter who won the big wheel race. I should be forced into pit row.

Funny that as I'm thinking about this tonight I came across this post on a blog I've started to frequent. What do you think? Was Jesus competitive? I'd like to think that he could relate to this streak inside of me. And I'd like to think that I could learn to redirect my intensity for purposes that mirror his own.

After all, the only difference banana creme pie is going to make is to my waistline.

Random

2006-04-18T20:53:00.000-05:00

I normally post in thematic paragraphs. But tonight I feel like being random. Here are the first ten thoughts on my mind as I write this post:

1. ALIAS IS RETURNING TOMORROW NIGHT! There are only 5 episodes remaining in the series but I think they will be fantastic. This is the way a show should end.

2. I love wearing flip flops. I'm so glad it is getting warm.

3. Jon and I had turtle sundaes at Culvers at 4pm during our 1-on-1 meeting. Kind of ruins your dinner, but hot fudge is yummy.

4. The next few weeks are going to be a bit crazy. Between now and May 11th I will have attended conferences in Orlando, Atlanta, and Charleston, SC. In between those trips I will be entertaining a group of 15 from Ohio on one weekend and 2 children's directors from Champaign, IL on the other. On May 12th I will collapse. (But I'm really excited to have you visit, Steph!)

5. LOST better give me some answers soon. I'm starting to get annoyed with the whole "let's confuse you more" thing. I'm too far in to quit, but I'm getting a bit disgruntled.

6. I want to be a better friend. I want to reconnect with a dear friend who has fallen off the radar. I want to think about others more.

7. I love flour tortillas. I ate 3 of them and a banana for dinner tonight. And a Dove chocolate truffle from the Easter basket my friend Kerry made me. Yummy. I guess my turtle sundae at 4pm wasn't dessert enough.

8. My friend Julie from my yoga class is going to visit my church sometime soon. Very excited about that. It was really easy to invite her.

9. Still thinking about our Easter services. God was at work in an amazing way. The highlight was an 82-year-old man being baptized. I was overcome. It was the good kind of crying in church.

10. I'm still amazed people read this. When I started this blog I was nervous about writing thoughts where everyone could see them. Now I'm writing a stupid, random list and yet you made it all the way to the bottom. Thanks for stopping by.

Thankful

2006-04-15T10:11:00.000-05:00

Stopping this morning to remember...Jesus is alive. He is real. He is present.

I just finished memorizing the story script I will deliver three times this weekend to the 1st through 5th graders that attend our Romeoville Campus. I love getting to write and communicate these teaching moments because they ground me in the basics of what I believe. Want to remember what it means that Jesus is your friend? Try explaining it to an 8-year-old. Crafting language that is simple and understandable clears my own heart and mind. And yet vagueness and mystery are also acceptable. Kids have the ability to accept profound truth more readily than adults, I think. I feel more like them when I am teaching them. And I think that is a good thing.

Jesus loves me, this I know. Yes, Jesus loves me.

Happy Easter.

40 Years From Now...

2006-04-13T22:11:00.000-05:00

Margaret Becker has been a favorite since the early 90's. At a time when my faith was really beginning to take root, her passionate lyrics filled with words of commitment, struggle, and longing seemed to emerge out of my own journey. She provided the soundtrack for my life.

In recent years I've experienced her ministry more through the spoken and written word than through song, and her latest contribution did not disappoint. Coming Up for Air is an autobiographical narrative about one woman taking stock of her life. If you are a contemplative type, then I think you'd like this book. It gives you a lot to consider.

The question that hit me the hardest as I eavesdropped on her journal: "Who are the people I want to make sure are in my life 40 years from now?"

Have you ever thought about that? Maybe it is an easy question for you, but it has been harder for me to answer than I thought it would be. Family is obvious. It rises to the top very quickly (which also tells me something about the investment of time and energy I should be making now). But maybe I've moved around enough to realize that many of our closest relationships can fade with enough time and distance. A love and fondness remain, but an "inner circle" closeness can drift.

So the question becomes: "Who do you want to keep from drifting?" or "Who's drifted that you want to bring back?" Imagine your birthday party 40 years from now. Who do you want around the table?

When I figure that out, I want to make sure I'm preparing for that day.

Counting Down

2006-04-09T17:20:00.000-05:00

Only 4 hours to go until this...

My nephews are coming! There will be zoo. There will be downtown Chicago. There will be tickling and popsickles and Shrinky Dinks. I'm ready to defend my title as 'World's Greatest Aunt.'

Shawn McDonald

2006-04-07T23:17:00.000-05:00

It's been so long since I've found a Christian artist I really like. When I was in Arizona, Blake and Sarah introduced me to Shawn McDonald. I am loving his Ripen CD. I also really enjoy his Live in Seattle CD.

So here's my question: Are there any other Shawn McDonald fans out there? And if so...what else are you listening to?!? I need more recommendations! I'd almost completely given up on Christian music, but Shawn has given me hope. Is there other great stuff out there? I'd listen to the radio but every time I turn on a Christian station the same song is playing that I was listening to when I turned it off 6 months ago. I can't handle that anymore.

Please, someone help me!

All Down Hill

2006-04-04T20:59:00.000-05:00

Had my check-up appointment at the doctor yesterday. I didn't realize that once you hit 35 everything is destined to implode. Here I've been cruising along in perfect health only to find out from my doctor that I can begin to expect everything to fall apart within the next 24 hours. She wrote orders for multiple exams and lab work. She put me on vitamin supplements. She said we should monitor how I'm feeling over the next 6 months to decide if I should consider other medications. Whaaa?

Still, I left the office quite happy. Was it because I am in great health? Partially. Was it because I really like my doctor and her thoroughness? That could have an effect. But the number one reason I was happy is that she recommended that I take Flintstone vitamins with Calcium. Are you kidding me? I loved Flintstone vitamins as a kid. I drove right to Target and bought some. Nothing like eating a Sweet Tart that's good for you. This is medical advice I can embrace.

Play Ball!

2006-04-02T23:27:00.000-05:00

The baseball season is underway...with a rain delay in Chicago. I know this is my hometown now, but is it really smart to leave the big season premier to the wiles of spring in Chicago? Anyway...what are the chances my beloved Indians and new-found love Cubs will headline this year's World Series?

Oh my goodness, you're real!

2006-04-02T19:51:00.000-05:00

It's been about a year since I started contributing regularly to this blog. I have no idea who reads it now, but initially it was a great avenue to connect with former CCH'ers. During my 6 years as a campus minister at Eastern Illnois University so many college students found their way into the deep places of my heart. As they graduated and left followed by my own departure from the cornfields of Charleston, it was easy to drift out of touch. Who knew we would find each other again years later in the prose of blogs and the comments of myspace?

But last night many of us came face to face. We gathered in Charleston for the Campus House's Annual Banquet. It was so great to see everyone but there was also some strangeness about it. Usually when you go years without seeing or talking to someone the common questions are, "How are you?" "What have you been up to?" "What's new in your life?" But as people began telling stories and even just describing random events of their week I found myself thinking, "I already know that. I read that last week on your blog." Blogs are a bit strange because they reveal a lot about our lives and happenings yet without comments we don't really know who's reading. You see someone you've followed in cyberspace and in that moment you realize you know more about them than they are aware of. And they might know all about you.

Still, it was great to discover that all my cyberfriends are indeed real.

Assembly Line Gratitude

2006-03-29T21:32:00.000-06:00

Had one of those "I can't believe I get to be a part of this team" moments today. It came through what might seem to be a strange circumstance. We have an initiative coming up for the month of April that we call IGNITE. During this Easter season we're doing everything we can to mobilize our entire church to invite their friends and neighbors to church. We encourage everyone to intensify their prayers for the unchurched people in their lives and commit to bringing friends to church over this 4-week period. Last fall when we did our first IGNITE it led to a 900+ increase in our weekly attendance.

In addition to this personal challenge, we want to do everything we can to get the word out about our church. So this time we've decided to do yard signs and door-hangers. Our series for the month of April is called 'The Best Life Ever' and we had over a thousand yard signs and 60,000 door hangers printed up with this graphic (although the signs list a website: www.bestlifeever.org). We're encouraging everyone in our church to put a yard sign in their front lawn and we're mobilizing hundreds of people to walk their neighborhoods to distribute the door hangers.

So what was the gratitude moment today? Well, when we decided to do the doorhangers we also decided to include a roll of LifeSavers. That meant rather than regular paper doorhangers we'd need to stuff the card and the LifeSavers in a plastic doorhanger bag. 60,000 of them. So from 9am-1pm today our entire staff and a host of volunteers pulled together and got the job done. We cheered every time someone finished a group of 100. We heard whooping and hollering every time we finished off the quantity for one of our campuses. As I sat there doing one of the most monotonous tasks known to man, I was having a wonderful time joking, laughing, and even having a few serious discussions with my co-workers. I thought, "Only we could make something like this so much fun."

Now, I know that last statement isn't true. I know there are other great teams out there. But today I just experienced one of those moments when I knew there is no place else I'd rather be. I love this team. I love my church. And I'm so grateful to be a part of it.

If you have a chance, check out our website for this series: www.bestlifeever.org. When you get to the landing page, check out the Kids' City link where you can watch a promotional video for the ministry I get to be a part of.

Anyone want to join us?

It's a Party! Bring Your Checkbook!

2006-03-26T16:34:00.000-06:00

Just got home from a neighbor's house. I spent an hour there searching through a catalog and eating small cubes of bread dipped in a variety of sauces and dips. It was a Tastefully Simple party. For those of you who aren't familiar with Tastefully Simple, it is a food company that sells and distributes it's product through home parties. You know, just like Avon, Pampered Chef, Mary Kay, Tupperware, and PartyLite. You can now buy jewelry, stationary, rubber stamps, cleaning products, and even clothes from the comfort of your living room. All you need is a few friends and minimal refreshments and the free hostess gifts are yours.

I am so puzzled by this phenomenon.

I'm not even talking about the strange fact that we'll shell out $20 for a plastic bowl or $15 for an eyeliner that we could get for half the price at Wal-mart.

What bothers me is that the home shopping industry has become the only venue for female connection in suburbia. Doesn't anyone invite their neighbors and gal-pals over just for the heck of it anymore? If I think back to the last 5 invitations I've had to home shopping parties, I don't think I've ever been invited into those homes to eat a meal or watch a movie.

Can we only connect if our checkbooks are involved?

Did I really just spend $20 on three food items I don't even care about?

At least I did meet a neighbor I'd never talked to before. We've lived near each other for two years and never met. Kind of sad that we needed Bountiful Beer Bread Mix® to bring us together.

Squandered

2006-03-22T21:24:00.000-06:00

"I do what I do not want to do." Granted, Paul wasn't talking about television when he wrote these words, but as I'm sitting here tonight they are ringing in my head. Do you ever find yourself getting sucked into television programs that you don't really give a rip about? You can't seem to turn them off. But as soon as they are over you instantly wonder, "Why in the world did I just spend an hour watching that?" That is my plight tonight. Yes, I just sat through 'Deal or No Deal' followed by the results show of 'American Idol.' What am I doing? Now I know my rant will offend some of you because it has become quite obvious that there are many faithful fans of the latter. I don't begrudge you. You are welcome to pursue your interests. But I really don't care about either of these shows so why did I just sit through them for the second time this week?

The worst part is now I don't have time to watch the one show I really did want to see tonight. Now I must wait another day or two to see if the survivors of Oceanic Air Flight 815 get rescued. I'm pretty sure they don't. Thank goodness I have TiVo.

Sometimes I think about all the hours I waste in a week. I'm not talking about taking time for fun or rest. I'm talking about the hours that I squander in things I don't even really enjoy. Someone asked me a couple weeks ago how in the world I find time to blog. My answer...we always find time for things we really want to do. The person who asked me works out on a consistent basis. I can't seem to find time for that. Is the truth that I don't have time to work out? No. If I really wanted to do it, I would find the time. I could use my blogging time to work out. He could use his gym time to blog. We all find time for the things we really want to be about.

So the next time I'm dying to know what dollar amount is in case number 16 or I can't look away from the awkward way the gray haired guy dances, would someone please remind me that I'd rather be reading?

Motivation

2006-03-20T20:53:00.000-06:00

I hate going to the doctor. It's not really about being afraid of any particular medical procedure. I like my doctor so it's nothing personal against her. I used to hate going because I had terrible insurance that covered basically nothing but that's no longer an excuse. I think I simply don't want to take the time to go. Going in for a check-up doesn't seem like an exciting way to spend my day off. So I never go.

I know. It's a bad thing.

But today I called and made an appointment for a routine physical. Why the sudden change of heart? Is something wrong? No. Am I suddenly more conscientious about taking better care of myself? Unfortunately that's not it either. I called and made an appointment because a co-worker and I decided to hold each other accountable to going and promised to pay each other $10 if we didn't make the appointment within 2 weeks. Ten bucks. That's all it took to get me hopping. It's kind of pathetic but I also find it interesting.

What else should I agree to do or face a $10 penalty? Read my Bible consistently? Exercise? Go to bed at a decent hour?

I may have just discovered the key to discipline. And it's free. Unless I mess up. Then it's $10.

Did I Crash the Server?

2006-03-15T21:19:00.000-06:00

So I decided to go cold-turkey on e-mail while I went on vacation. I needed to get away from it. I admit I am addicted. It honestly felt so freeing to ignore it for 4-days. But now I've returned and I know there are dozens of messages waiting in my inbox for my immediate attention. So I drive from the airport to the office prepared to hunker down for a couple hours of e-mail correspondence only to find that our server is down. It's been down all day. It's 9:20pm and it's still down. I'm starting to wonder if this is part of God's detox program for me. Hmmm....

Rocks

2006-03-15T20:25:00.000-06:00

Just returned from vacation in Arizona. I had a wonderful time with Sarah & Blake Kearney. Attended a Cubs-Brewers spring training game. Satisfied a Chick-fil-a craving. Had my first In-and-Out Burger. Received a 5-year-overdue golf lesson from Blake at the driving range. Visited a great, young church. Watched Walk the Line. Took a walk in flip flops.

But of course the highlight was seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time. Pictures don't do it justice. You feel very small standing on the rim of something so massive...something so beautiful, mysterious, awesome, and dangerous. I wonder if God was trying to express something about himself with this burst of creativity.

On the way back to Phoenix, Sarah took me through Sedona so I could see the huge formations of red rock that tower over the small town. It, too, was quite breathtaking. At one spot we climbed down to a creek near a small waterfall. The setting was so peaceful and good that it just called prayer out of me.

A few weeks ago John Deck wrote a post about collections. He offered to make collection suggestions for those of us who didn't have one. Here's what he suggested for me:

Tammy: You often reflect on grace, and finding said grace in the "little things." I think it would be cool if you started a physical collection of items that told a story of grace. Maybe a series of shelves with various items that each told a story.

The ironic thing was one week before John made this suggestion I had purchased and assembled a wall of shelves for my bedroom. I loved his idea. So on this vacation I started my 'Stories of Grace' collection. The first item...a small collection of rocks. Three are non-descript gray ones from the base of a tree at the Grand Canyon. Three are southwestern red from the hills of Sedona. And three bear the multiple colors found in the landscaping of Sarah & Blake's front yard. Once I find the right bowl to place them in they will find a place on my shelves. And they will remind me of what a gift the past few days have been.

To see more vacation pictures click here.

Baby Kruse

2006-03-09T20:45:00.000-06:00

For those of you who know Jo (Giglio) and Joe Kruse... Welcome baby Cayden Joseph into the world! He was born Wednesday night at 10:30pm after only 2 1/2 hours of labor. He's beautiful. Here are some pics I took with my phone camera...

Figures

2006-03-07T22:22:00.000-06:00

So I'm flying to Arizona this weekend for a vacation. I'm going to spend a few days with Sarah and Blake Kearney and Sarah and I are going to drive to the Grand Canyon for an overnighter. I've been watching the weather for several weeks now and it's been sunny and in the mid to high 70s for days. Sunny and in the 50s at the Canyon. Beautiful.

But the forecast for this weekend? Rainy and 59. I can't believe it. They haven't had rain in 145 days in Phoenix! The forecast for Chicago? Rainy and 63. My first time ever going to Arizona and it's going to be warmer in Chicago?!? There's snow in the forecast for the Grand Canyon!

At least I know Sarah and Blake will make me smile.

Puppy love...

2006-03-06T17:06:00.000-06:00

Kids' City Invasion

2006-03-05T17:49:00.000-06:00

This was a great weekend for Kids' City. We're in the middle of a family series at our church and decided that this week we'd have the kids invade the adult service. We brought our elementary large group into the adult auditorium. The kids were so excited. They love to be in the spotlight in front of their parents. And it seemed like the adults enjoyed the experience too. It was great to see hundreds of people waving their arms doing song motions along with the kids. And I could tell it was encouraging to every Kids' City staffer and volunteer to see the ministry they are a part of take center-stage for a weekend. So often kids volunteers are serving in the shadows. I could see in their faces what a boost it was to have what they do celebrated in such a visible way.

But what excites me most about this weekend is I felt we capitalized on an opportunity to educate and challenge parents about their role in the spiritual development of their children. Our teaching pastors spoke boldly about family expectations and values. Our media director produced an amazing video that helped parents understand how Kids' City can help them raise a growing, Christ-follower. We offered parents a chance to sign up to take a "test drive" through the City to see first-hand what their children experience each weekend. We produced a family resource guide and CD for this series that's getting rave reviews.

My heart starts to beat fast when I think about parents getting intentional about the spiritual development of their children. Of course I want to see every kid grow up knowing and loving Jesus. But I also know the future vision of our church is dependent on the next generation being even more commited and risk-taking than ours has been. God has big dreams.

Right

2006-03-02T19:22:00.000-06:00

Took a 1/2 day of work today as a Retreat Day. I encourage everyone on our children's staff to step away from the fray once a month to get their bearings. God led me to these words from Romans 3...

“We are made right in God’s sight when we trust in Jesus Christ to take away our sins…Yet now God in his gracious kindness declares us not guilty. He has done this through Christ Jesus, who has freed us by taking away our sins…We are made right with God when we believe that Jesus shed his blood, sacrificing his life for us…Can we boast, then, that we have done anything to be accepted by God? No, because our acquittal is not based on our good deeds. It is based on our faith. So we are made right with God through faith and not by obeying the law.”

I know there have to be those of you out there that struggle like I do with beating yourself up over all you are not. I realized this morning that I'd been treating myself to a very steady pummeling for ways that I'm not loving enough, patient enough, kind enough... There is a healthy piece in my desire that makes me want to grow to be more like Jesus. But there's a lot in it too that makes me forget that I'm accepted. I am right with God.

It was just good today to take some time to rest in that knowledge. I can breathe. I am free.

UPDATED--My Television Debut--UPDATED

2006-02-27T22:19:00.000-06:00

RETRACTION--O.K. In the never ending Oprah saga, I must now humbly apologize for being incorrect about my last post. My fellow Oprah attendee was able to help me see that the beforementioned section in the Oprah studio was not in fact my section. I apologize to the producers and video editing department of the Oprah show for the accusation that they had digitally mastered me out of the Oprah show. However, I'm sticking by my claims that we had to practice cheering and reacting (see comments below). Furthermore, if anyone is interested in getting multiple hits on their blog from many cities and countries around the world, might I suggest using the key words "Meg Ryan" and "Oprah" in your next post.

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O.K...this is so funny to me that I have to share. I just finished watching the Oprah episode. There was one shot at the first commerical break that should have gotten me on TV. As I paused it and looked at the studio audience I was so confused. Where I thought I was sitting there was a women in a pink shirt. I wore a black turtleneck. I thought maybe the angle was throwing me off. Maybe I was in the next seat over. But that woman was clearly wearing white pants. I was wearing jeans. It was then that I realized that a man was sitting in the upper right corner of the studio audience. That chair had been empty during our taping. Someone had gotten ill and had to leave right before the show and there wasn't anyone to replace her. I laughed as I realized...they superimposed a different studio audience into the shot! They had to! Next to us were four blond haired women who were all wearing the same black shirt and beaded necklace (worthy of a blog entry in itself). But in their places I saw a woman wearing a bright orange shirt. I was digitally mastered out of the Oprah show!

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The Oprah show I attended will be aired this Wednesday. Tune in to see my television debut. Honestly, I will be shocked if Robbin and I make it on camera. We were sitting behind Meg Ryan all the way in the top row of the studio. I'm right at the top of the aisle. Probably my best chance for TV fame is I got a little teary-eyed at one of the videos they showed about how the children in Uganda are suffering. They always catch the crying people. I think I yawned once too but I doubt they would put that on the air.

Moments of Significance

2006-02-26T18:23:00.000-06:00

Today was an eventful day. We launched our 8th church campus in the Hispanic neighborhood of Chicago known as Pilsen. I arrived on site at 7am to help unpack supplies, put together baby toys, and prepare to receive families. Unlike the other campus plants I've been a part of, we launched the Pilsen Campus with two services instead of one--the first in Spanish, the second in English.

Several dozen people from the across the suburbs poured into Orozco Academy to come alongside the launch team for this opening day. Lupe and Tom were there from our Shorewood Campus. Maria and Paul came from Naperville. Flo and Annie drove out from Montgomery. Scott showed up from Romeoville. It was so encouraging to see our existing campuses supporting this new plant and coming to lend a hand in any way they could.

And then the families began to arrive. I'm not sure how many were there. But they came and enjoyed the coffee and donuts. They checked their kids into Kids' City. And then experienced something that was probably new and different. The music was great. The launch team was doing all they could to make people feel welcome.

I was surprised to hear someone shout my name in the hallway. I turned to find Lisa Trump running towards me. Lisa is a dear friend who was one of my student leaders at Eastern Illinois University. She and her sister Aimee are thinking about moving to the Pilsen area and came to check out what was happening with this new church. It was so great to see Lisa and finally meet her sister.

Still, for all the excitement and activity that was visible, I find myself wondering about what was happening below the surface. What moments of significance were part of today's launch? Which families stepped through the door and became a part of something that will change the course of their lives? Who took a big step today towards finding their way back to God? Who was God prompting to be a leader in this new congregation? What strategic relationships have just begun?

It's these unseen moments of significance that thrill my heart. I know they are there even though I don't know their stories yet. I know because the Holy Spirit never passes up great opportunities. I'll just look forward to hearing about them as this new, young church forges ahead.

Fun and a Bit Strange at the Same Time

2006-02-24T19:52:00.000-06:00

So yesterday was the big Oprah experience. It was fun to be there. Here is a snapshot of my reactions:

The topic was a serious one...focusing on conditions in Pakistan, India, and Uganda. Reminded again of the pain, hardship, and fear so many live with. Wondering how we can change the world.
Meg Ryan and Lucy Liu are unbelievably skinny.
There are quite a few women out there who have lost touch with reality. I couldn't stand to listen to one more tear-filled testimony about how long some have endured the wait for Oprah tickets.

It really was fun to be there...I'd never been to a television show taping before. But I have to say it was also a big strange. Maybe it was an off-day. Maybe Oprah was really tired. Maybe the seriousness of the topic did something to her. But I was so surprised at how disinterested and almost aloof Oprah seemed towards her guests. Meg Ryan was noticably nervous and rather than making her feel welcome Oprah just asked her matter-of-fact questions about some pretty painful things in her life. I wanted to run down there and give Meg a reassuring hug. When both Meg and Lucy were done with their segments, Oprah didn't even get up out of her chair to say goodbye to them. She barely acknowledged them when they stopped at her chair to shake her hand goodbye. Maybe that's just the way this Hollywood stuff goes, but it was so strange to me in the moment. I wonder what it will look like when it is edited.

Come on already...

2006-02-22T20:06:00.000-06:00

One of the best parts of blogging this past year has been reconnecting with people I hadn't talked to in years. Sure we're not really having a verbal conversation, but reading their regular entries has helped me feel "back in the know" of their lives.

One of these dear friends is Leah. Leah was one of my first student leaders when I started in campus ministry at EIU. We'd been out of touch for years but now I'm tracking with her life through blogspot. Leah and her husband have been persevering through the long process of adopting a baby from Taiwan. A couple months ago they found out that they are getting a little girl and have named her Gracen. Isn't little Gracen the sweetest thing you've ever seen?

But here's the deal. It is taking FOREVER for the adoption paperwork to make it's way through the courts. I'm going nuts with the endless waiting. I can't imagine how this feels for Leah and Jason. So I want to ask a favor. As you read this blog right now would you say a simple prayer that God would move in the court system and that Leah and Jason would receive the news that they can travel to hold their daughter? Just a simple sentence prayer in this moment. That's all I ask.

Maybe a little more blogging prayer is all that's needed.

It's not a book, but...

2006-02-20T21:27:00.000-06:00

You might remember some time ago I mentioned a conversation with a children's director from New Jersey who asked me to write a book on multi-site children's ministry. Well, the book thing still feels pretty overwhelming to me, but I've decided to start with a different avenue that's a little less intimidating. I'm starting a Multi-Site Children's Ministry blog. You can check it out at: www.multisitekids.com.

It's a bit intimidating pretending you know enough about something to help other people. Mostly I'm hoping this blog can be a forum for many people to share their thoughts and questions. I'm excited to see who finds their way to this new site.

Calling all EIU Campus House Grads...

2006-02-18T10:58:00.000-06:00

You know who you are, EIU Campus House Grads! Are you planning on going to the Annual Banquet this April 1st (and, no, this is not an April Fool's joke)? I'm planning on traveling down to Chucktown this year to see the new Campus House building and enjoy the evening catching up with old friends. I'd love to see as many of your faces there as possible! Who's planning on being there? Anyone staying over for church on Sunday?

Church in the Burbs

2006-02-18T09:57:00.000-06:00

I participated in a great event yesterday. It was called 'Church in the Burbs' and was a gathering of church staff from 15 or 16 churches in Naperville for the purpose of learning from one another and connecting together. I have to admit, I wasn't really looking forward to going. Part of that is the introvert in me that has to muster up a lot of energy to meet new people, but the other part was that I've been involved in quite a few ecumenical gatherings throughout my years of ministry and they've always felt a little forced...like everyone got together because we knew we should but no one really wanted to invest anything into the partnership. Something was different about yesterday.

5 churches hosted the event. A couple community churches, a Lutheran church, a Methodist church, and my church. One of the breakouts I went to was led by the pastor of the Lutheran church and it was in that time that I could tell there was something different about this gathering. As he talked about his relationships with the lead pastors of the other 4 churches and specifically about what an impact our pastor, Dave, had on him and his view of ministry, I realized that the leaders of these 5 churches had really become friends and co-workers in the mission of reaching Naperville for Christ. Something egoless is involved. Something vision-filled is there. Something really good is a part of this.

The good experience continued as we broke into ministry areas for lunch. I enjoyed connecting with the other children's directors who were present. I found myself asking if I could visit their churches on a weekend to check out what they are doing so that I might learn things that could help us get better. I began to place value on what our lead pastors have already discovered.

I don't know what will come of yesterday's event. I do know I left feeling proud of Dave and the other pastors who care enough about helping people find their way back to God to want to help each other become more successful. I just wonder what could really happen in a city when egos are left behind and differences seem to be forgotten in light of the mission.

Olympics

2006-02-15T18:25:00.000-06:00

When I was growing up my dream was to play basketball in the Olympics. I've always been mesmorized by the Olympics and couldn't think of anything more exciting than representing the USA in this global competition. Obviously, I didn't make it. But maybe it's not too late. Sure, basketball is out of the question. But right now I'm sitting here watching the 'B' list sports on CNBC (you know, the sports that aren't actually popular enough to make the regular NBC programming). I think I could do this curling thing. How hard could it be? You slide on the ice and aim a large, heavy object at a target on the other end. After all, I'm pretty good at bowling. I'd just need to find a couple of people to do that broom sweeping thing. That actually looks like it takes stamina. So how about it? Anyone want to form a curling team with me? It's Vancouver in 2010, baby!

Oprah

2006-02-13T15:12:00.000-06:00

I'm about to complete another item on my "things I need to do now that I live in Chicago" list. I'm going to the Oprah show! Yes, next Thursday (Feb 23) I'll hop the interstate to head downtown for an 11am-3pm taping. For a while I've been checking the last minute e-mail reservations list on Oprah's website. See, when you go through the normal process of calling the phone line for tickets you have no idea what show you'll see. But the last minute e-mail reservations spill the beans on the program's agenda. I'm going to get to see Meg Ryan! I'm pretty excited about it.

The ironic thing is when the Oprah show called me this morning to offer me the tickets I was working on a talk I'm giving this Friday on taking spiritual retreat days. When they told me the tickets were for February 23rd I checked my calendar and it was the day this month I had blocked out to take a spiritual retreat day. Normally I protect those days with no excuses, but I hope God will understand if I bump it back a week this time.

Look for me on Oprah!

Birthdays

2006-02-11T08:23:00.000-06:00

Waking up on this Saturday morning on my 35th birthday. Feeling so grateful for all God has blessed me with... I was thinking last night about that question people always ponder when a birthday rolls around: "Did my life turn out the way I expected it to?" I can honestly say "no" but not because it hasn't met my expectations but rather because I'm not sure I really had any. I really had no idea where I wanted to be when I turned 35 and honestly am not really sure where I want to be another 5, 10, or 20 years down the road. All I know is I want to be walking closely with God and embracing whatever reality he puts before me in the present moment. I think that's enough. The rest can be a surprise. God hasn't disappointed me yet.

Drops of Grace

2006-02-08T19:44:00.000-06:00

I've been having a tough week. No major catastrophes. Just a bunch of those little things that leave you feeling a bit sick to your stomach and unsure of yourself (and no, Eric, I don't think it was Mexican food). But as I'm sitting here tonight trying to find some peace I'm grateful for the thoughts that are coming to mind. They're those drops of grace that are placed so carefully in the moments we need them.

A surprise birthday party from my children's staff today during our directors meeting.
Without even knowing anything about the situations I'm in, one of our curriculum writers saying to me, "Any time you say something important people are going to get mad."
Margaret Becker (who has been my favorite Christian artist since college days) sending me a note through MySpace. I'd had Margaret speak at an event I was in charge of a couple years ago. I'd dropped her a quick note on MySpace telling her I thought it was awesome that her speaking ministry was starting to take off. She wrote back thanking me for helping launch her in that direction by giving her that opportunity a few years ago. She has a new book coming out in March and asked if she could send me a copy when they arrive. Thought that was pretty cool.
Just when I'm stewing over an issue tonight, my train of thought was interrupted when Joseph called to ask if he could come to my house for a picnic. Something in that 3-year-old's voice is grace personified.

I just love the way God uses words and happenings from unexpected places to encourage our hearts when we need it. I know this stream of grace is always flowing. Sometimes it's just easier to feel the wetness when it comes in small drops.

Mission

2006-02-05T08:21:00.000-06:00

Did Jesus feel that pit of his stomach uneasiness? When he called people to follow and some shrunk back did he wrestle with doubt about the call? When he made big asks of people knowing some wouldn't like him for it did he wish he'd kept his mouth shut? Was he ever tempted to want to make the way easier for people--to expect less, to settle for mediocrity? My guess is no. So why do I?

Well, the first obvious answer is I'm not Jesus.

But as I'm reflecting on the events of yesterday I'm realizing some ways I need to grow. I challenged everyone at our monthly Kids' City Leadership meeting to step up and be fully "in" to the mission we have of helping families raise growing Christ-followers. Many in the room were nodding in agreement. But there were also those avoiding eye contact, looking uncomfortable, disengaged.

I constrast how I felt before, in the middle, and after that with what I perceived in our lead pastor, Dave, during his vision talk in the previous session. He talked about money. He really laid some things on the table to challenge our leaders about their giving. He called us to sacrifice. He called us to help the poor and the suffering above and beyond the tithe we give to the church. One of the things I love about Dave is he makes big asks. He lays things out there all the time and from what I can tell does it boldly with confidence. Where does that come from?

Dave lives with a constant awareness that what matters most is the mission of helping people find their way back to God.

The mission has to come first. The mission demands risk. The mission requires bold asks. The mission probably brings some rejection and criticism for those who expound it.

Maybe I won't get over this uneasiness. Maybe the uneasiness isn't even a bad thing. But I don't ever want to let it keep me from challenging others to the Jesus mission.

Bill, the Dollar Bill

2006-01-29T22:25:00.000-06:00

What could be more fun than this? Grown men dressed up as dollar bills helping kids learn that money has power to help people in need. This great character, Bill, entered the Kids' City stage flexing his muscles full of ego about how his power could buy big houses, fast cars, and diamond encrusted toilet seats. Good thing our storyteller was there to help Bill understand that his power would be put to the greatest use if he used his strength to help people in need.

Bill left a changed note.

Hopefully hundreds of kids scattered across our 6 campuses got the point too.

This year in Kids' City we are using our offering money towards two special projects. You might have read in a previous post that last year we built a home for a family of orphan children in Rwanda. We're going to do that again this year. We've committed $1500 to help this family. Their parents died of AIDS. Right now they live in a one room shack with a hole in the roof.

We've also committed $500 to pay for an airline ticket to reunite a refugee with their family here in the United States. It will be later in the year when we find out who we are helping. What a great story that will be.

$2000. That's a lot of nickels, dimes, and quarters. But I'm confident God will use the kids in our church to help these people in need. And hopefully along the way we're planting seeds in their hearts to be a generous generation. That could really be powerful.

Birthday Presents

2006-01-27T21:58:00.000-06:00

Joe called me today. My sister told me that a couple nights ago he came out of his room at 9:30pm and asked if he could call me to tell me that he wanted me to buy him a CD player for his birthday. Two days later he was still talking about it so she let him call me today...

Joe: Do you know what I want for my birthday? I want you to give me music. Will you give me music?

Me: I think I can do that.

Joe: And you have to come to my house and eat birthday cake and watch me open my presents.

Me: Well, I'd love to do that, Joe, but your birthday isn't until May. My birthday is in a couple weeks. What are you going to get me for my birthday?

Joe: Long pause. I'm going to get you a new shirt!!!

Me: A new shirt? You know what I would really love? I'd love for you to draw me a picture for my birthday. Would you draw me a picture of you and me?

Joe: Another long pause. But I'm going to buy you a new shirt.

My sister, overhearing all of this, said she might take him to Walmart and let him pick out a shirt for me all on his own. I wonder what kind of fashion sense a 3-year-old has? To be a good aunt, do I have to wear it?

Amazing Team

2006-01-25T21:15:00.000-06:00

We had an all-staff meeting today. I love our all-staff meetings. Worshipping together. Praying together. Learning together. Just being together is a blast. Today Dave, our Lead Pastor, made 4 of the Campus Pastors compete in a game of tug-a-war to illustrate a point. It was hilarious to watch. Although I bet at least two of them are cursing Dave at this moment as they nurse their bad backs and ice the rope burns on their hands.

There were a couple comments today that gave kudos to Kids' City for the creative and programatic improvements we've made over the past year or so. We have come a long way. But although others might make guesses as to the reasons behind the progress I know the truth. God has brought together an amazing group of people. Let me introduce you to our Children's Staff in the order they joined the team.

Scott was a managment leader in Caterpillar. He left a high paying job with "climbing the ladder" potential for the sake of helping families find their way back to God. His heart beats for the unchurched. He has dreams of connecting with families through avenues like sports, arts, and education and then helping them find their way into life-changing community. He is amazing with people. And he brings his corporate language and business management theories into our Kids' City meetings (we love him for it...especially Robbin...she really likes the charts and statistics).

Robbin is amazing. Creative. Energetic. Compassionate. Committed. Relational. Determined. Those are a few of the words that come to mind when I think about Robbin. Robbin has helped us get better in so many ways. She brought tons of experience working with kids and the arts onto our team. But she also just brings a mature ministry perspective. I think every leader needs someone in close proximity who is a sounding board, a support, and at times a cheerleader (literally and figuratively in Robbin's case). Robbin has been that for me. And I am grateful.

Mary is an amazing leader. Mary and I have been in the trenches together since I joined the staff at CCC. She was one of two Service Coordinators I inherited when I became the Director at our Romeoville Campus. Mary knew me when I was afraid of children (well, I might still be a little afraid, but not like before). Mary did for me what I see her do for countless others... she believes in us and cheers us on until we become what she always says we were. Everytime I visit the campus she now directs I see evidence of her belief in the people on her team. They are having the time of their lives. Mary has called something out of them that is so good and purposeful. It's so encouraging to watch.

Shannon surprises me every week. I didn't know her very well when she joined our team, but every week I see evidence that confirms she was the right choice. I love that she's dreaming big dreams for her campus. And every team needs that person who loves beauty and will go the extra mile with special touches. I see Shannon as a bundle of potential that is just beginning to be unleashed. She has a teachable, hungry heart which is probably my favorite thing to see in a young leader.

I don't know if I've ever met someone who puts a more positive spin on every situation than Cathy. She's our resident "make you feel good about yourself" expert. She doesn't know this, but sometimes I eavesdrop when she's talking on the phone to a parent or a leader who has called with a question. I love that Cathy is the first line of contact for our ministry. She does such an amazing job of valuing the people she interacts with. And she serves our whole team with such a humble, "how-can-I-help-you" attitude. Cathy is all "in" and it shows every day.

Tony and I entered children's ministry through the same door...because someone had to do it. The great thing about Tony is that you would never know that he was never intending to be part of Kids' City. From day one when his Campus Pastor told him they needed him to switch roles to become the Kids' City Director at our newest site launching this February, Tony stepped up and embraced the need and the vision. In just a few months of knowing him, I see amazing leadership and teaching gifts in Tony. I think God is going to use him in incredible ways to make a difference for the Kingdom. And who knows? Maybe Tony will find out like I did that although he wasn't looking for it, Kids' City is exactly the place he wants to be.

So there you have it. These are the reasons we've gotten better. And when I step back and realize that every one of these people was new to the staff in 2005, I know the best is yet to come.

Blog Friends

2006-01-23T13:47:00.000-06:00

OK...I need to return some blog favors. Recently a couple of my co-workers started blogging and gave my blog a plug on their sites so I want to do the same for them. Check these blogs out...

Dave Ferguson is the lead pastor of our church. I have absolutely LOVED reading his blog since he started it a month or two ago. Dave probably has more on his plate than 99.9% of the people I know, yet he still manages to upload more posts than all bloggers in the state of Idaho combined. I'm learning a lot from Dave's insights on leadership and ministry. Follow the link on his name to check it out.

Over the past year or so Eric Bramlett has managed to weasel his way into becoming one of my favorite people on the planet. He is the head Arts Director on our staff and really is a creative genius. But please don't tell him I said any of this because it might go to his head and he might start acting all powerful or something. It's about time he started a real blog! It's new but I have no doubt it will be good. Check it out. Especially you creative types. And those of you who like the word "monkey."

The Right Niche

2006-01-22T20:34:00.000-06:00

I love watching people serve in the right niche. There is something so full of joy, something so passionate and powerful about watching someone contribute in their area of giftedness. I saw it in the worship leader last night at our Romeoville campus. There is a difference between a song leader and a worship leader. Mary Kate was definitely the latter. Her efforts led to one of the most meaningful times of worship I've experienced in a while.

I saw it this morning in an elementary small group leader. I stood outside the door of Laura's room where I could listen but not be seen. She had 17 1st through 3rd graders. Too many, really, for a small group. Yet they were all captivated and engaged as she led them through the lesson. She skillfully planted seeds of spiritual growth.

And I saw it in Lupe as she worked her way through our children's ministry at the Shorewood Campus. Lupe is a Service Coordinator in our ministry which means she is a 5 hour/week paid staff member who is responsible for staffing, overseeing, and caring for an entire service of children's volunteers. We laughed together in the lobby when I told her she was doing a great job and we both reflected on how she ended up in her current niche. See three years ago Lupe was a leader in our preschool room. She was great with those 3 and 4 year olds. So great, in fact, that I asked her to take a step up in leadership and become a coach of other leaders. She said she'd pray about it. She did. And a couple weeks later came back and told me "no."

Now normally when someone tells me "no" I respect their decision. But during the next week I couldn't find any peace with her answer. So I did something I'd never done before and haven't done since. I went back and asked her to pray again. I told her that I couldn't come to terms with her decision to decline and felt like she needed to pray about it again. She came back a week later and said "yes."

That was such a pivotal moment for both her and her husband. That month they both took steps forward in their spiritual leadership and have blossomed ever since. It's been incredible to watch them grow and see the contributions they are making to the mission. I love it!

This afternoon I was watching the Pittsburgh Steelers beat up the Denver Broncos when my phone rang. It was Lupe. She said, "I just wanted to call to say thank you for seeing something in me three years ago that I didn't see in myself. I never would have dreamed God would use me as a spiritual leader."

Lupe is having the time of her life in ministry. And I'm having a blast watching her serve. And I can't help but imagine what the church would be like if everyone stepped up into their niche.

Thank you, Jesus

2006-01-19T18:08:00.000-06:00

Jesus bought me a coffee today. Actually it was a tall peppermint mocha. No, not that Jesus. It was Jesus Quezada. He and his wife Theresa were in my small group for a while. We drove up to the local Starbucks at the same time and when he ordered at the counter he told the cashier he was going to cover my drink as well. Just a nice small gesture that was a blessing in my day.

Thank you, Jesus.